heatherbee's Blog

Pictures without meaning...
Date: Mar 28th, 2006 12:14:21 am - Subscribe
Mood: gelatinous


So tonight I decided to attempt to fill a couple of picture frames that I had bought years ago. For some reason, I sat them in the bottom of my closet...still with the store plastic on them. I dragged out all the pictures that I could find. Again I was set to the task of sorting through others' lives. Three years ago, my father passed away, right after him, my grandma, his mom. Believe it or not, I'm still in the process of dealing with it. Not just emotionally, but physically. Essentially, I am combining 3 households...my dads, his mom's, and my own. At first, I couldn't throw anything away. I had everything from knicknacks to bronzed baby shoes....from clothes to beloved pictures of people that I'll never know. Then it got easier...thrift stores became my friend. Every other day or so I was taking a box of things there...I thought that at least someone else could use them. Then a week or so later, I would cruise the shops....looking for remnants of dad or grandma...ooh...there's her earrings or there's his tee shirt. Sure, some things i still have and who knows how long I'll have them. Have you ever thought that the gifts you give someone, if you are their only living relative, you'll get them back one day? I have cards I gave dad, grandma...a carved cane that I bought from a street vendor once when I was on vacation. Sometimes it just all creeps up on me and it is too much. I miss him. I want him to come to my wedding and walk me down the aisle.
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