.:. Blogs .:.

[	Subject	\|	Its been sometime	]
[	Date	\|	Feb 27th, 2005 9:53:37 am - Subscribe	]
[	Mood	\|	insecure	]

I haven't "bloged" in forever. I gave up on it. I didn't realise that my last entry was in september. I even forgot my password. I don't think I'm the kind of person to write about myself. I rarely talk about myself, at least, I don't always say what I'm actually thinking. I like to keep to myself, even though I don't always want to. But then when I do tell someone something I usually regret it right away and wish I had kept it a secret. I like my secrets. I even came up with a code that I could write in, just to vent my feelings, but I haven't used it yet. I think I will now. I'm shy and when I'm with people sometimes I find myself thinking that It wouldn't realy make much difference if I were there or not. In fact they'd probably have more fun without me. That's probably not true Its just what I think. Ok, enough self-indulgence.

I like my old blogs. I feel obligated to post a new one sicne, I read other peoples blogs once in a while, when I'm bored. So this is just like regular life for me. You see, when I'm with my friends I usually let them do most of the talking. I love to listen. They don't seem to mind. Everyone loves a good listener. I just smile and nod and say things like "yeah", "me too", or "hmmm". I'm realy listenting, I like it, real life rocks. Then once in a while I'll speak up and tell them something about me. But honestly, Listening is more interesting because you already know all about everything that you say. Unless you're asking a question of course. But you don't have any idea what other people might say. Everyone has a story. And they don't usually tell it the first day they meet you. If they do, run.
"...Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak..."

Anyway in case you're interested I'm almost always thinking about my little girlfriend. Once in a while my mind drifts on to other subjects but not often. That's pathetic and typical. I wish I had a more interesting life. I wish I had someone to talk to right now, or to listen to. I think I need advice or something. I miss girlfriend I wonder if she misses me. I need to ask her questions but I don't know when I'll get to talk to her again for more than fiffteen minutes. My mind is thinking a thousand different things now. I'll figure it out.

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[	Subject	\|	Don't mind me	]
[	Date	\|	Sep 23rd, 2004 4:59:48 am - Subscribe	]
[	Mood	\|	merry	]

Nothing of consequence happened today. I had to work tonight. I drank an entire cup of butter garlic dipping sauce it was so gross. Justin dared me to do it for ten dollars. But I refused the money. Afterwards I couldn't stop trembling, but I kept it down. At least I was the center of attention for a few minutes. There is some good news. The other night I found my ring! Rachel made it for me out of a paperclip. But I lost it. I always lose my things. I felt realy bad. That shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did but I had sentimental value attached to it. Anyway it turned up after I had almost given it up as hopelessly lost. Its ridiculous how happy that made me, I'll never lose it again. I love Rachel, I miss her. Now Shoo! go have a cup of tea.

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[	Subject	\|	I have no idea	]
[	Date	\|	Sep 21st, 2004 7:54:26 am - Subscribe	]
[	Mood	\|	foggy	]

I need sleep again. This would be better if I weren't so tired. I'm a terrible writer. This took an hour and a dictionary to write (dictionaries are a good read). I work at a Pizza Hut and I would not wish the same on anyone. Its not unendurable but it takes a lot out of your life and does not give much back. I hate capitalism. On the bright side I work with people I like and get free food. I was still tired today, I went to work without shaving it was a statement. Then while making a feeble effort to do my job I listened to my coworker Justin ramble for an hour. He says I'm a good listener. He does most of the talking and I have nothing to add, his problems are beyond me, but I like to listen. I am entertained and he gets to get things off his chest. Besides that, I'm sick of this job and another fellow employee of mine noticed. I get spaced out somtimes. She told me something must be bothering me, it looked like I had been losing weight, and not getting enough sleep. She said I should take my job and life more seriously, eat better, sleep at night, but first take a week off. I gave her a nervous laugh and agreed with her. How could I reject advice like that? I asked for a week off in the middle of October. I hope I get it, then maybe Rachel and I can get to Mexico er maybe not. Ah well. I'll be fine I promise. Workers of the world unite!

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[	Subject	\|	Cheerio	]
[	Date	\|	Sep 20th, 2004 11:20:34 am - Subscribe	]
[	Mood	\|	indefatigable	]

Good morrow. I haven't much to say. But who is to blame for that? The fact I've been up all night or more likely that I'm incredibly shy. Not insecure I just like to keep to myself. And not surprisingly I never liked to write about myself. So in a quest to bring back some of my memories I found my highschool planner. I used to scribble in it during class. Here are some of the more humorous and downright confusing things I found written in it: "NO !!!!", "Jed dude there", "Then come ten questions" "I'm not going to don't tell them", "chinese finger puppet", "Your room moron", "yyyynnnn", "he married cause she's older" "that's you I can't stand you" "That's just inferno" "atom" "tatoo" "Yo quiero voy a h***" "stupid" "I was just crazy" "sweet" "your not funny" (note the your) "greese monkey" "mla rules you" "hook"(written with hearts for o's in a girl's handwritting) I don't know what any of that meant. Don't try to understand. I think I just liked writting. Most of it is illegible. I was bored now I'm just tired. Perhaps I will tell you more about myself later when something actually interesting happens. I miss Rachel. And Remember the Force will be with you.... always.

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