idrawstars's Blog

Let's go...first date.
Date: Dec 10th, 2004 2:36:16 pm - Subscribe
Mood: Contemplative


So, tonight is the show, and I'll see Jesse. I,m so very excited! We IMed for two hours last night, which is awesome because I usually can't carry an IM for more than 10 minutes. I only have a little left to do on my scarf, just iron it and put on fringe.

Anyhow, yesterday sucked, the school day anyhow. I had to give a speech in 7th hour and, me, being the spaz I am, had a panic attack. It was so humiliating, I really am not looking forward to facing anyone from that hour, especially Zach, because he'll have NO problem laughing his ass of at me because I had a panic attack. So anyway, it was the typical symptoms, throat closed up, started shaking and crying, and it was horrible. I felt like my lungs couldn't hold any oxygen. So I ran down to the nurse and she helped me come out of it, and then called Susan and I left school. I didn't leave school early, I left at the usual time, but I have this thing where I get really anxious around groups of people, so...yeah, I wouldn't have been able to handle riding the bus. That explains me "shutting down" at TBT as I do sometimes, or just becoming really quiet and uncomfortable at parties or gatherings.

I have so much to do tonight. Blah. For the first time in a while I actually WANT to look nice. I guess that means spending more than 5 minutes getting ready...haha. I hope Troy isn't there, I mean, I'm sure he will be, but the prospect doesn't really get me smiling. Blah. I'm almost certain he'll be there...damnit.

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