imaginarys Aeonity Blog

sigh.

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 16:14:45 -0500

A brief meditation on why I hate everything right now: - I am sick. I feel like my head is encased in a glass fishbowl. - People annoy me. Especially children. Especially the sound of their voices. This is problematic given my job choice. - Today is the last day of work, which, while being a good thing, also kind of sucks because I don't t... Read More

lonely.

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:19:31 -0500

I'm afraid right now. I don't know what to do. I don't know how I will be alright. I don't want to fall back into misery, but I can feel it pull me. No matter how I try to look at things, it comes back to the fact that I'm alone, unwanted, unwantable. I know in myself I have a huge, shining saving grace. I don't know what it is in nature. But... Read More

Freedom.

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 12:21:55 -0500

It bothers me that I don't feel I can write as freely here as I once could. I've already done some damage by forgetting that words (sometimes especially mine) can be very powerful. I don't want to cause anyone pain. But I still want to write. And I like Aeonity a lot, and I don't want to make a new blog. This is where my past is as well. And if ... Read More

endings and battles.

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 21:59:43 -0500

I'm supposed to be writing paragraphs on UN peacekeeping missions right now, but I am a mess. If I don't write I will soon fall apart. I can't put these thoughts into any organized or elegant narrative - they must come out, unpolished as they are. In three days I am graduating from high school - but it's more than that. In three days I... Read More

selfish.

Tue, 20 May 2008 20:42:19 -0500

7.17pm

Unfortunately, I find I am no longer able to mask the truth of my own selfishness. I am a terrible, self-centered individual so absorbed in my own emotional twists and turns of drama that I do not heed anyone else's feelings.

How did I get this way?

The problem is not that I want everything I keep for myself. I don't think I ... Read More

Thoughts on my writing.

Sun, 18 May 2008 23:49:53 -0500

7.56pm

I make resolutions a lot. Is that normal? Sometimes I manage to fulfill them, but more often than not I end up where I started.

Keeping my room clean, for instance. Not going as well as I had hoped.

I have an inkling that maintenance just isn't my strength. Creativity is, but without the wherewithal to keep things going it ne... Read More

Minor revelation.

Sun, 18 May 2008 19:25:52 -0500

Wow. So it has now been more than a year since I last posted anything here. I'm not exactly sure why. I read over my old entries. Important things I realized as a product of this: - Times change. - I changed. - I write very differently when I write for an imagined reader. - But in spite of it all, I still write. Even... Read More

insignificant rant.

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 18:03:22 -0500

4.11pm

So I'm back from Ecuador as of five days ago. It was an amazing trip and I worried for nothing. Right now I wish I was still there, as it's snowing again and I'm tired of the world at large. [This space reserved for rant about people and life and death.] [rant]

It could happen to me. I could wake up some beautiful sunny ... Read More

Ecuador.

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 22:56:56 -0500

I wish they would invent (prescription) drugs that prevented one from thinking while in an airport or on an airplane or on any transportation to or from an airport. Because that would make tomorrow so much easier. If I could just shut out the fact that I'm leaving; that I will be gone for 21 days, I would not be worried about tomorrow at all. ... Read More

under your spell again.

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 01:24:26 -0600

...And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall; pour real life down on me - 'cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough... am I good enough for you to love me too? So take care what you ask of me 'cause I can't say no... [Good Enough - Evanescence]... Read More