impatient1's Blog

It's about time
Date: May 22nd, 2006 2:12:17 pm - Subscribe
Mood: Fucked
What do you want?: a lighter

I think I need to let myself fall apart or blow up, just something. Every little thing is starting to get to me again. I am one of those people that doesn't really like to talk about the things that are bothering or upsetting them. I also hate to ask for help and often refuse to do so even when I need to. I'm just so tired of expectations and problems that I've cause and issues that I'm probably just imagining are there, and stupid little things that make me uncomfortable. My self rezentment. I can't wait for the summer and the 10 dollar an hour job I've got lined up. I can't wait for next year, to be out, to be me fully and completly and not have to pretend. Then there's the other part of me that knows I'm all talk and that I'll do what's easier and what scared me less. I'm afraid of change, yet sometimes I crave it (at least for the past two years). I just need to explode or fall apart and then I'll be just fine again, but I feel like I don't have a a good enough reason anymore, and therefore a right to.
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