impatient1
I'm a dork, but I was curious Apr 25th, 2006 3:07:49 pm - Subscribe
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Impatient1
I feel better. :D - Subscribe
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My brother came up to visit for spring break, he was supposed to get here on the 25th and leave on the 1st at 1:20pm. He's still here. He told us how things really are back home, and we all decided that he was staying up here. I couldn't let him go back to that. From what he told my dad and I, things are just as bad as they were when we all lived together in Boise, if not worse. I personally think she's using again, but he's not going back to her so I don't care. It's really nice having him up here, having a sibling again. I'm sure I'll eventually get back into the whole I hate having a little brother thing again, but for now I really like it. I have to admit it was really weird going from always having him be there (maybe more so because he is the only one who was always there), having him tagging along behind my best friend and I, and always taking care of him and making sure he was okay, to being like an only child and not seeing him everyday. I'm not saying it wasn't nice, but I also really missed him. I missed the wrestling in the back yard, playing football, playing catch, playing video games, and I even missed yelling at each other and then trying to beat the crap out of one another. I like that he's up here and I get to spend time with him again, but what I like about his staying here more than any other reason is that I know he's okay. I know he's going to eat, I know he's going to be able to take a shower, I don't have to worry about the fact that he's living with Mike in the house, I know that he doesn't have to really worry about anything anymore. I felt so guilty when I left, like I was leaving all this shit behind and that he was going to try to do the things I did, try to take my place and take care of everyone. I felt awful because I wasn't going to be there to make sure that he didn't see the things that went on in Mike and Judy's lives. He was going to have to make sure that someone went and spent time with grandma and grandpa. I believed and still do believe that I had left this giant weight of responsibility for him, just because I wasn't going to be there to make sure he didn't have to do a single thing. That guilt has been a heavy weight on my shoulders since the day I left, it took my aunt and my dad's parents pushing me to even get me to leave, but now it's not there anymore. He's here, not there trying to deal with all that shit. For the first time in almost two years, I am guilt free, I don't even care that my mother is upset and depressed, she's not responsible as a parent, and she deserves what she gets. |
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impatient1
I'm a dork, but I was curious Apr 25th, 2006 3:07:49 pm - Subscribe
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I got an egg.
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