impatient1's Blog

I just have this undeniable urge to type
Date: May 1st, 2006 2:43:10 pm - Subscribe
Mood: dark


I feel like a burden.

This last weekend on Saturday was my girlfriend's prom. I worked the two weekends before so I could go. I ended up getting one check so I only had half the money, I asked my dad if I could do something for him to earn the rest and he gave me something to do. I didn't get my check cashed because we were busy moving all day. So my dad's partner while taking in me to go get the corsage for my girlfriend stopped at the bank and got out $60 and gave it to me. I have to go in to his work and fold napkins and then give him my check when I get it. I have no problem doing that, I feel it's exactly what I should do. It's the rest of the lecture that I got on the way home that makes me feel like shit. I was told that I absolutly have to go get a 'real' job, which I've been trying to do, because they can't keep paying for things for me. That I shouldn't be their responsibility. The arugements about how I don't do anything and I sit and am lazy happen a lot. I've even had my dad's partner tell that I'd have probably been better off staying in Idaho.

I moved up here almost two years ago, and the last thing I wanted was to be a burden. I almost didn't come because I didn't want my dad to feel like he HAD to do anything for me. I hate that they spend money on me. I feel guilty every time we go out to dinner or when I need new clothes for school. My dad's partner doesn't have to do anything for me, he's not my parent (I don't feel like my dad has to do anything for me either) but he does and then he tells me that they can't keep doing it. I know they don't do it on purpose but, sometime I feel like such a big hasstle, like I put them out, and that they'd have it a lot easier if I hadn't wanted to come here.

I'm just whining I guess, no real point. I know I need to get a job, before school starts again next year. I want to have money for my class ring.
This was pointless; I apologize.

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