new shit, but still shit
Date: Jul 16th, 2007 10:09:30 pm - Subscribe
Mood: lousy
What do you want?: alcohol, but we've drank it all

I've done a lot recently. Got a new construction job, big bucks, moved out and into my own apartment, took care of and made life or death decisions for my mother when she got into an acccident that should have killed her, and oh so much more, but I'm not happy.

I moved into the apartment with a friend and my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I aren't sharing a room, separate spaces, and two weeks after we moved in together she dumped me, she's not in love with me. What sucks is that I'm still in love with her. I get all depressed at times about it, but most of the time I just have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. It got worse today when I read her livejournal and saw a post from her ex. His post was along the lines of, "when I read this my stomach flipped like it used to back when we were first dating, I still care about you". I need to control myself and be nice, I mean I have no business saying anything because I'm not with her anymore. It hurts and I'm having a problem dealing with it in a healthy way. I know I get over it but It just sucks right now.

I've been thinking about just have sex with people, safe sex of course, but no relationships.
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