Convenient [Whore]
Date: Jun 9th, 2004 6:20:22 pm - Subscribe
Mood: content
Music: Autumns Monologue [FATA]
I did it because it's convenient. I did it because it's there. I did it out of tension, my own sexual tension. Since last year in March, when my heart was broken and integrity stripped away, I've been on a thoughtless search for beneficiaries only. People who, like me, only want to relieve themselves without any obligagtion.
Is that wrong?
I don't trust people anymore. They make me paranoid. Like, when plans come up I am afraid that they are just "stand-up" plans. I don't want to arrive at the movie theaters wondering if I'm there alone. I worry. I'm not the only one who feels that way. I mean, I don't know any others but I'm sure there are others.
But is it wrong to use someone, even if they know? And even if they're using you too?
Last night I was with this person and the whole time I felt like I was betraying a part of me. I felt like I was betray ing the person I loved so much before, and still love so dearly to this day.
Eternity.
Oblivion.
That's who we were.
That's who I wish I still was.
I was Oblivion.
Is there any advice out there? Please help!!!
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