|only writing cause im in a mood||
Apr 2nd, 2005 6:58:15 pm - Subscribe
|So, its like quarter to two in the morning, and im totally tired, but i just dont want to sleep. its such a fucking waste.
i dont know what i want to do instead tho.
get stoned maybe.
get drunk maybe.
the reason im in a mood, pfft, i dont even kno why im in a mood!
Over a boy i think. its crazy, really really crazy.
theres a guy...i liked him for ages and ages. and then i didnt, but kind deep down i really do. and he's an ass, cause he's totally messed me around, telling me he likes me, kissing me, telling me he doesnt want a gf..getting a gf anyway, flirting with me like a madman. then totally ignoring me when we see each other out at gigs or in a club or something. i dont fucking get it.
and i want to have a go at him.
but then he'll just think im being a stupid girl like i always am i guess.
ive sent him so many emails telling him im mad, and i dont get him and that i like him and that he just pisses me off. but it never helps.
so sending another wont help will it?
i never even fancy him till i see him, and then i remember how much i used to like him, and then i cant get him off my mind for weeks, then isee him again and it starts all over.
its pointless and it pisses me off.
and woo hoo...im all upset and angry and shit again now. i havent felt like this in ages..so much for that.
ahh who cares anyway. its only a fuking boy.
just wish he'd go away..or at least make sense.
and guys say girls are complicated.
i just want to run away and meet new people.
im gonna txt him, and tell him to come online, i cant just be mad and not tell him.
or is that a bad idea?
|mood: pissed off
Today im listening to...: counting crows - a murder of one
|i wish i had a river...||
Mar 19th, 2005 1:46:03 pm - Subscribe
|..i could skate away on.
I dont know whats up with me right now. I guess im just having one of those off-days. Its easter break too...i should be out in the sun having the time of my life...but instead i stayed in and did english. and listened to like 10 hours worth of music.
Last night was pretty dull too. A local party...and hardly anyone i was good mates with were there, and those who were there were all couples smooching all night making me feel a tad lonely to be honest.
So i got drunk, and i got semi stoned, and that didnt help at all. i just stayed sad and lonely.
So now i feel like crap today, im sooooooo tired and hungover, and urgh i just cannot be arsed with anything right now.
And i have to babysit tonight, which is good cause i get money, but bad cause im sleeeepy. but its cool. ill survive.
and tomorrow is the jimmy gig, which im not even looking forward to. i have a feeling kez and amy are gonna be all buddyish and leave me on my own. well its my dad thats picking us up so they can fuck off if they do.
god i have such a mood on today.I need matt or someone to talk to, he always puts me in a better mood.
i wish i wasnt on break, i want to be in school...at least i see everyone then. meh
Today im listening to...: kate rusby - underneath the stars