sometimes i dont need a story -- someone else tells it for me.
celeste has moved to jacksonville.
i'm really bad @ goodbyes.
everything and nothing makes me sad.
sometimes just a little bit of attention is needed.
i've been fixated on clothing and how quickly that changes your instant speculation of someone. i'd rather not think that i can fit into every single catagory -- in fact yesterday while i was hanging with richard and celeste -- it was funny and interesting.
i was discussing alex (which i honestly don't want to go into just because it's so drama-esque)...and richard blurts out "What kind of friends do you hang out with anyway? I mean you have a napolean dynamite on yr rear view mirror..." i let it stop there. simply put i don't like stereotypes. i've reached that impeccable age where justifying my ego by perception and fitting into a clique is not enough, why set limits and boundries by what you like and who you regulate yourself to?
seems kind of boring if you ask me.
i fit stereotypes if only to surivive and i find it fastinating that perception stands 10 feet before i even enter the room.
besides -- stereotypes are fun -- finding out that you are not extrodinary is okay with me, it's kind of narrowed down to 33 persona types -- and for the most part its interesting.
i'm not that insecure about myself -- i have my own doubts, which is good -- brings me down to earth. i just can't stand people that are opague.
27 is a good age for me.
i am pretty much secure with my body, i'm confident with how its formed, i like the way it feels, my heights gonna be this way for the rest of my life, and i'm dealing w/my curviness and not wanting to starve it to death and whittle it away.
oh and i don't care how idiotic i look when i dance.
sometimes attention is good every once in a while, y'know?
I'm trying my best to be around people that were in my past to use as a reference point -- good or bad. A relationship can mean many things, a close friend, a lover, a best friend. You are drawn to people for sucessions of moments for numerous amounts of reasons. History is precocious and once you create a timeline, you can draw maps from evolution. I'm still friends with my first real true love -- and that was about a good decade ago. He's still amazing to me and I'm amazing to him -- and we've both "changed." I'm learning that there are referal points in the life timeline, you can either be a slave to the past or live and remember the moment.
There's a lot to say about being directly involved & being indirectly involved from the outside looking in.
On that note
I'm choosing to live.