at midnight. Why? I'm not too sure. I sort music, but I got done with that at 11. I was talking to someone, but they left about 20 minutes ago. I guess this marks the beginning of the day: in front of a computer.

Yesterday was a complicated day. (yawns) I was really upset that one of my friends left my bag alone in the library for someone to just walk up and take. I mean, I even asked her if she would be around a while and she still left to get lunch. |=| I'm not sure what to think of her now. I mean this isn't the first time she's been like that. Then again, I've been like that a few times too. Sometimes you really don't mean to act a certain way (mean, directly rude, stalking, you name it, haha) but when you try to fix it, it's kinda too late, you know? I'll give her another chance and see if realizes how much that offended me.

Academics have been quite dificult as always. Calculus isn't any fun. In fact I'm quite tired of school in general. I'm not looking forward to going to college right now as I am not prepared at all for the future. I realize my decisions are based on how people move me in different directions (shakes head) even though I constantly tell myself I won't be happy in college unless a: I'm studying something I love, and b: I have close friends around me to hang around with when I'm not stuck in a computer lab somewhere on campus finishing a late assignment. But now I've kinda come to terms that maybe I should lean towards the first rather than the last.

You know the typical scenario: guy gets girl. Guy doesn't want to break up with girl so stays in the city and works instead of going to his dream college elsewhere? I guess I always thought if that happened to me, I'd do the same thing, but now a days, people are just so....wrapped up in their own lives to care about anyone else that maybe I move in my own direction since no one else's direction is working for me =| I've gone through my very crazy days and my obsessive days and my lonely days and days you just wish someone was around to be with you and weary days... (this reminds me of a song) "but when I look around. And I think things over. All of my good days...outway my bad days...and I won't complain." (Rev. Paul Jones. heh, I guess okay music does come from Mom's car radio :P)

I'll of course keep in contact with all my close friends of course: the people that have made me who I am today. If they still want to talk, I've never turned anyone down and I never will (a self principle).

I hope I get a job soon. I really do. I'm a great volunteer and student. I'm tired of not having money. Plus Christmas is around the corner and I gotta buy gifts for family and friends. Hopefully all will go well...I hope :(