Just managed to read a newspaper without tearing it up (read post below!) and the Observer has a big BOOK review section and they TIP my BOOK 'Handstands in the Dark' as one of their recommendations as a 'HOT TIP' WOW!
I am well pleased with that...I am up withere with some of the best books this year.
Thats worth all the stress and hard work.
Am off to sleep, painkillers have finally kicked in and my womb no longer feels like it's trying to implode.
Am off to London this week, this time I promise I will not go to the M15 building and demand a go on their internet...still cant believe I assumed that the biggest SPY- INTELLIGENCE building in Millbank, London was an internet cafe.......
I am an arse.
My daugter Ashley cornered me yesterday when I got home...I am all exhausted and she shoves a pair of knickers into my hand and black ink marker and said "Sign these whilst I take a picture"...so I did. I then went into unpack my things.
Eventually when my brain worked properly I asked her "Why did you take a photo of me signing knickers?"
Ashley said " Well I am hoping your book will make you more famous and I am selling your pants on EBAY"
I am shocked. I am hoping she is joking and I am hoping the knickers she has belonging to me are sparkling and clean. The last thing I want is for some weirdo to have a pair of my old pants with dodgy stains on....
Well today in Scotland is the offical hotest day on the year. I watched loads of mad Scots walk about burnt red...so many people will lie in bed tonight and feel the hot skin on their back start to blister..USE SUNSCREEN!
You always know its hot in Glasgow because the next day newspapers report of two people who died in their garden...fucking hell, when will folk realise that the BIG HOT ball in the sky is made of BURNING FLAMES?
We went to the beach for a wee while and it was way too hot to even sit on the coast..we are all at home..half naked clustered around a fan....I would kill for snow right now.
I am getting my show prepared for my previews this weekend in London, my new show for the Edinburgh Fringe is called
"Janey Godley is Innocent".
Well hope it is funny as I have press etc coming to see the show. Cant change the title now as I have posters etc all made and ready to go and my daughter is doing my PR this year, no reason to spend 3 grand on someone else talking about me when she can do it perfectly well and is in fact very good at PR. She has a lot of experience in that field and has managed to get big audiences into shows every year for other companies that hired her, for me she will work for love.
I hope...or maybe I can pay her in used underwear to sell on EBAY?
I am slowly melting into a fat blob of liquid cellulite.
I love Glasgow in the summertime, but shopping in that heat is clearly mental. The amount of kids out of school running up and down shopping aisles is crazy and screaming mothers, tempers flared by the heat chasing them for a slap (is that not illegal?)...it's a world gone mad.
I am ready for my preview shows in london, I was slightly concerned that i would not have an act...but it seems a quick chat with my daughter helped, she reminded me of all the stuff I talk about and we both worked out some funny shit to do. So I was calm then I got a call from BBC about the radio show I am on this weekend "Loose Ends", I have to do 4 minutes of material ...not that its a problem, but I always panic that my material is good but may bot be suitable for certain times of the day. I am not a 'blue' comic by any means but I do worry.
Then I got a call from BBC Scotland to remind me of a show they are filming that I am involved in, fuck I forgot about that. Never mind it's all sorted and my head is around it all now.
I have been feeling a bit weird lately, just odd in an emotional way. When I was in Italy, I had a chat with a good pal and we talked about being really really honest and this stuck in my head, I dont know if I am totally honest about everything in my life and it worries me. There is some stuff I will take to my grave and I am not sure if I can or ever will talk about it.
I wont talk about it on here, but my mate tells me he wants to start a website where people can be truly honest about stuff and that struck me as a good idea.
When I was in Manchester, I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote down everything I am guilty of ( bear in mind my Edinburgh show is called Janey Godley is Innocent) and I sat there staring at it. Then I burnt the paper and fell back asleep and was plagued by horrible screaming nightmares, so much so I walked in my sleep.
I have said some nasty things in my life, done some unforgivable things and witnessed some stuff that I will never talk about...surely thats not unique?
Well here I am in Hot hot London....wheeew! The laptop could not get a dial tone in the apartment, so I am in the hottest internet shop in the world...I feel deathly sitting here with sweat dripping down my back! Nice!
So the flight went well, except the airport security took my good eyebrow tweezers off me, I suppose as a security risk in case I 'pluck' my way into making the captain crash the plane!
Weirdly though just at the newsstand in departures I am offered a 'giant' Toblerone for £1...now as far I can see that is a huge weapon, I could take someone out with a giant piece of angular chocolate!
The apartment is beautiful, Monica and I had a nice dinner last night (she cooked, I got in the way) and we chatted till all hours of the night...it was fun.
I was pleasantly surprised when I got to London's Heathrow and saw the Evening Standard magazine article which is over two pages and quotes "Janey Godley hot tipped for the Perrier Award at this years Edinburgh fringe" I am now very nervous, my first preview is tonight and my nerves are high.
I will be fine, probably not Perrier material...but fine.
I have to go as the heat in this wee back shop internet place is overbearing...or I am suddenly in the throws of my menopause....hopefully not, as I may want to have another baby this year.
YES! The soul sexy love God..Alexander O'Neal was a guest on the radio show BBC radio 4 'Loose Ends' (Tonight Saturday 6.15pm).
I was doing a guest spot and HE was sitting beside ME....I melted...I have all his music on my IPOD.
I did this story about how Ashley was selling my knickers on EBAY and I actually offered live on air Alexander O'Neal a pair of mine for FREE!!!!!
The show went well, I was nervous and I did advertise my blog on the radio also, I am so naughty.
Last night my preview went as well as expected, I was nervous but I threw away the script in my head and went on a rant about stuff that turned out to be funny, the audience liked me so I am therefore happy. I did discover some of the stuff that didn’t work and that will be excluded for tomorrow nights preview.
I am still all gooey about Alexander O'Neal...how much of a tit am I?
So it's Saturday and I am free tonight though am on call in case some comedy club has a let down, but otherwise am free to chill out!
It's Summer in the city and I am hot hot hot...but not as hot as I was an hour ago!
I am in love....the black man who lives in my head is jealous, but that's life.
Listen in tonight if you wish, it also streams on the internet Radio 4 BBC Loose ends 6.15pm.