Wow
Date: Aug 4th, 2007 5:09:29 pm - Subscribe
Mood: vibrant
Crazyiness: myself
So... i forgot how angry I was until I read that last blog. I haven't been on here in a long time, and it made me realize just how much has changed.
Maybe for the better maybe not.
The girl i was bitching about I am now going to marry... much to the dismay of everyone around us.
But she has changed a lot.
I haven't very much at all.
so i guess I will just see how things go.
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fuck women
Date: Sep 4th, 2006 6:07:27 am - Subscribe
Mood: knowledgeable
they are lying cheating whores and sluts that tell you they love you and then cheat on you. and then when you take them back and they say everything is going to get better ignore you phone calls and text messages when they tell you to message them cause they are watch a movie and don't want to disturb the others... fuckers.... i am a woman and i wouldn't do that to her but she is bitch..!!!
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London
Date: May 26th, 2006 9:03:53 am - Subscribe
Mood: jumbled
So I am once again trying to move to london. I have been talking to an ammishion rep from the school i want to go to. I told my boss and cara about it. I have told my dad yet. I have an interview with him again tommorrow. And i keep trying to get prepared for it, but my computer keeps fucking up. It lets me do everything else just not that. I don't really remeber what all we are suppose to talk about. So this should be interesting. i am not prepared and i will be tired because i have to wake up early and i have gone to bed yet. damn it! yeah i know a lot of curse words today. i am tierd and i want to sleep but cara isn't back from her ex's house yet(she went there to drop off he ex' s stuff to her because they were threatening to call the cops on her. not that they could have but it will or should make the harrassing phone calls stop.) I am not sure what all is going ot happen there tonight, but missy went with her and kelly and a couple of her friends were going to follow them there so kelly could get her phone back. amber owes kelly like a thousand dollars or something like that. I think i am going to call her. she sould be on her way back now.
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Because of you
Date: May 21st, 2006 9:04:02 pm - Subscribe
Mood: grand
I decided the other day that I am not going to get mad at people anymore. I am just not going to let anything anyone does upset me. It is trival and stupid to be consumed by feelings for people. That probably will never have similar feelings for you. In any situtation. Since believing a lovers ramblings of devotion, just proves the opposite. I decided to not care anymore, which in turn cured all my demons from the past. I don't blame nor feel hatred nor any other emotion for the people who have wronged me in the past. It was my own fault for letting them to begin with, for believing their false tales to be true. When I knew better the entire time. I should have then done as they did and not actually have any emotion at all but just play the part. Say the things you are suppose to say and do the things you are suppose to do, but never suffer the consicences of a broken heart. For I never should have let it enter the real world. When I was little watching others around me, I had decided this then also. Then in my later years I abandoned my own wishes and thoughts to persue what so many have said to be the reason we are here. If pain and hatred and fear are the reasons we are here, I wish not to take part. In this relationship like most the others, I don't feel like I am in it at all. The other person in complete control and I just following allong trying not to see the obvious deseptions. With every I love you a cover up for the I love you that was bestoed to someone else. With every touch a thought of where they would rather be. With this new case around my heart I feel more alive and my mind as clear as when I was younger. Prior to my drunkeness that is called love that keeped me locked in a small little box. I feel so much better without all the jeously, anger, and fear in my heart. Knowing that no matter what people do they can no longer destroy me from the inside until it deminishes the outside. My mind was so cluttered with thoughts I couldn't fall asleep last night. I promised myself that last time was the last time and this time there isn't really anything to fight. So I am here and she here and we are stuck here until she decides weither to go or stay. To let go of all her past and move on with our future or let it consume her and have us drownd. If by no means of self control does she fail, then I shall return home. Or to where my friends are rather and decided my next move, for I really haven't found my home.
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If I could stop thinking it would it all be okay?
Date: Mar 10th, 2006 2:33:47 am - Subscribe
Mood: forsaken
Crazyiness: Wednesday Nights At Liquid
So I thought she wouldn't notice his name cut into my wrist
Just like no one else did
But eventually she did
So we faught
So she thought I wouldn't notice her all over her ex while they were dancing
Just like everyone else did
But I watch ever move she makes
So we faught
So just like every other wednesday night some one has to start something
Just like everone else does
But i stay quiet
So we fight
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