Because he wanted to comment
Date: Apr 17th, 2008 1:48:23 am - Subscribe
Mood: detached
My brain is tired.
I’d prefer to go straight to bed tonight and bypass homework and further avoid the dilemmas of my life, but alas, I cannot do that at the moment.
Life has been jumbled and very cluttered lately. I feel like I’m on autopilot 90% and then there’s that 10% where I get a random burst of energy that typically lasts for like an hour and in that hour is when I get stuff done at hyper, super-natural speeds. Like papers, work at my internship, gym time. It comes at random times of the day, so I can never be prepared for that boost of motivation.
Anyway, yesterday was my very last band concert. That’s right, very last one…I think forever, though I’m not entirely sure. Maybe I’ll give it a go next year in graduate school, or maybe I’ll quit while I genuinely still enjoy it. My mom came up for the occasion, and we had dinner together. I often forget what it’s like to eat a civilized dinner where I’m not confusing my company with raging monkeys.
Speaking of monkeys, I’m starting to realize that I’ve emotionally and psychologically out grown myself and a few of my friends. There are just other things that I prefer to be occupied with than childish little nerf ball games, or inside jokes relating to sexual innuendos. It’s all a bit much at times.
I’m in panic mode right now. No seriously, a friend of me just reminded me that we graduate in about three weeks. That’s it, three weeks and we are off into the ‘real world’. Defenseless and truly humbled. And here I am flipping out because I need some sort of income. I have bills out of the ass next year that need to be paid. The same friend helped me tidy up my resume for the better part of the evening. I appreciate his help as always, I just wonder why or how he puts up with my disheveled educational and employment experience. I’m sure he thinks I’m a complete idiot. It’s a lot harder to sound intelligent when describing the tasks of previous internships…or well sound intelligent in general…at least for me. I do it better in my mind. Too bad I can’t Xerox my brain and use that as my resume. Haha…yeah, well I’ve got some serious reconstruction to do to this thing, and soon. I want to at least get some interviews lined up before graduation.
Hmm…I think I’ll take a break from stressing and watch the idiot box. That always relaxes me…or puts me to sleep.
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