Changes.
Date: May 14th, 2008 4:45:34 am - Subscribe
Mood: hopeful.
Not long after graduation and already my priorities have shifted.
No longer am I concerned or caught up in silly juvenile situations that previously drained me of all available emotion, leaving me lifeless and coldhearted. And when I mean situations I mainly mean the person/people that have caused them. I'm over everything. I'll forgive but won't forget. Clean slates.
I think for now I have my mind focused on the here and now, and what I need to get done to get to points B and C (getting adjusted to graduate school & getting another car!).
Clean slates.
I think now I have my mind focused on the here and now, and what I need to get done to get to points B and C (getting adjusted to graduate school & getting another car!).
A. A used 97-2000 Audi A4 2.8 liter turbo-charged (automatic)
B. A used 1999-2004 VW Jetta V6 TDI (automatic)
C. A new 2008 SES ford focus with a DOHC engine
the audi and jetta handle nicely, altough the audi sticks around 2nd gear. I've never test drove any sort of focus. Hopefully it won't let me down. All cars claim to get between 20-32mpg highway and 19 to 27mpg city. Either way, anything is better than the 15hwy/17city i get in the taurus.
Anyway, the job searching is going...I've heard back from a few places and have a few interviews lined up for this week and next (with one job set in stone for the end of the month). They aren't really positions that I WANT, but under the circumstances I may just take what I can get at this point. My goals do not allow me to be picky.
I made the dean's list. I guess that's an accomplishment, especially considering that I've practically always been in the running for honor roll during most of undergrad. Not that, that's bad, but it's not enough (in my books). I’ve always wanted more.
Will (one of my best friends) is in France for a few weeks. He left yesterday and it hasn't really dawned on me until today. I'll miss our random late night chats about the dramas in our lives, but hopefully as Damian (my other best friend who has also been to France) says, "studying abroad will really mature him." I wish I could study abroad. I’d go to London if I had the chance.
As horrible as this sounds I think I'm going to isolate myself from a few people this summer. It's only best. Sometimes you just need a break from the daily people and occurrences in your life. I’m thinking about it like outpatient therapy. I need to clear my head, not to mention grow, change and reflect, etc. and I can't do that unless I stay focused.
There's this one situation that has sort of confusing me since the beginning of the past semester. I go back and forth on this almost daily now and I don't know how to feel. I do and then I don't. I want, yet I don't. I'm confident then I'm insecure...I'm really not sure how to answer friends and family members (who dive into my business anyway) when they ask the verdict. To be honest I don't know. I can say that it is not an entirely a black and white issue. There's a lot of gray area. Or maybe that's just how I'm viewing the equation. I have been known to be completely blind in missing crucial signs, then reading into one's that are flukes. The other side of this may have an entirely different view. Ugh. These things can be complicated, but shouldn't be.
Lastly, if a certain friend is reading this I’d like to publicly apologize for being a tad bit too sarcastic in an email. Yes, you. I really meant nothing mean by it at all, I was just in a strange mood when responding to it. I’m not even sure why I responded to the email with anything other than an “ok”. If it means anything, the 42 cents is worth it. Yes, friends should not recieve cards for being a friend, but this is necessary, i wouldn't feel appreciative if I didn't put forth the effort.
I think I'll end this here and go to bed. Job interviews the rest of the week! I need all the luck I can get.
Black pants suit and professionalism here I come.
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