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jessiebell
Here We Go Again. [Part Deux?] - Subscribe
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I'm sure i've used this title before. The many times i've been in this exact same place, every time; i'm just a little bit older, a little more distressed and helpless. Annoyed, disheartened. It's all the same. Except now i'm at the point of accepting that my life is always going to be this way. There's no way to stop it, no one to help. There is in fact, a little more time to contemplate death. I'm not feeling anything, i'm completely dead on the inside. If this feeling carries on, i'm not going to be able to concentrate on studying hard for the exams & i'll fail. I'm a funking failure. I need to get a move on, i need to stop this feeling. At least temporarily. I need to eat more regularly, I should stop procrastinating and going to bed late. Today, i dunno what happened; i haven't eaten since lunch. I say it's stress related. If only i could talk to Rich.. If only John would stop flirting with me. I'm sure i told him i have a boyfriend. I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of it. I need to give up. Funking hell, myspace won't function properly!! Another funking thing i've noticed; i don't write much anymore. I don't know why, i used to do this kind of thing frequently & I could say so much more. Maybe it's because life has gotten far more hectic in college. Non stop work and stuffs. I dunno. I'm suffocating. But as usual, i'll find a way to fight it on my own & i'll get through it and whatever. Not that i want to. I'll struggle. I feel like i need to cry, again. I hate needing and wanting. Pfft. I need to die. Or maybe screaming in a field would help? *remembers gdc's advice* Thing is, it's 10:30pm & it's chilly outside. Remove this feeling, please? I want to feel something. Anything. Make me happy, make me sad. Funking hell. I don't like the way you're dressed. <3 |