jessiebell
weirdest vivid dream in a while. - Subscribe
i know i have a fxcking whole lot to do. but still, i'm in the writing mood & i need to get this down.
firstly, i've been meaning to write entries for the last couple of days; but i've just been too overwhelmed with the workload. it always seems to happen on the week of a deadline.
anyways, so i wrote a myspace message to my friends list on how great yesterday and the day before were & how i went shopping in my free period on Tuesday & met with friends for cappucino's, bought a cool book.
i'll actually paste it:
yesterday was the greatest.
k, so Tuesday's i have two free periods & i decided to go to town & do some shopping, get my book that i ordered.
it was funnn.
ended up meeting with clare and those guys, and had cappucino's.
ohohohhhh, and i bought a book for only £3.99. A reeeally great book aswell. It's by Richard Pelzer (one of the younger bro's of Dave) and his story of how the abuse and stuff affected his life.
oh, and this one's the one about his teenage years. And it's ironic, Richard with the suicidal. It's weird.
(as in rich, my ex went through/is doing that kinda thing.) too weird that they have the same name. :S lol
& last night, i read the intro bit & it totally hit the heart.
i kept thinking of how my life's like...
and...the outcast...the things he wrote. i can completely relate.
(yes, i'm not giving my whole feelings on this.)
today, by contrast was quite boring.
i couldn't get out of bed. i was just sooo tired.
Jo was in Psych, thank god.
I <3 social psychology.
Clare was talking to me today about how her mum pushing her on the "you better start looking for universities" thing. And she came up with a course at Huddersfield, of studying the psychology of abused children.
& first thing Clare said to me was "i thought of someone who'd rather do this course than me.... Jess!"
i love Clare, very much.& she said she missed me when i was away in a class when exams were on.
she actually said she was upset. soyeah, nice to know i'm appreciated. :]]
Oh, and can everyone just get over Big Brother?!
lmao. just a request.
hmmm, John kept texting me saying i'd gotten him horny.
typical male behaviour. ughh.
but it is kinda flattering at the same time.
no offence, but i think he doesn't look all that....
hmm. *shuts up* i don't say mean things.
xP"it's over.
us, everything.
there's no point in anything. I can't help you get better, I can't help myself get any better. I'm useless, fashioned into greatness by my own overwhelming ego at times.
you never did say why you escaped to mark's the other day, taking the easy way out?"
oh, that was sent by rich. today.
blahhh. it's something i know exactly what to say back to.
apart from that, i'm not quite sure why i'm writing so much here. and why it's all so random.
ickkk, i just wish i was with him. i miss him.
blah, i think i should go do some work. deadline on friday. buuut, i'm almost done.
<3 xxx
yes. long message, i know. xD
hmmm, so i'll start with today.
woke up at 4 am after having the weirdest vivid dream in a while, i could actually remember it; so i quickly wrote it down.
so, this is what i wrote:
had a dream about being pregnant. i was about 16, i'd say. maybe 17.
& i was going through with it, everyone was ready & we were just waiting.
then, suddenly, i changed my mind. even though mum was dead set against it. [an abortion] & i saw my grandma. maybe in spirit? maybe that's why i just couldn't get rid of the kid; because of her.
anyways, so i was on bed rest & everyone was being nice to me.
i thought about him. {maybe he was the father?} lmao.
then i felt fat & like my stomach killed like hell, like i was actually pregnant.
i spent ages in the bathroom of the room where i was sent for bed rest. & i cried.
then we all went home soon after, even though people had given me baby presents and stuff
& that was it, really.
don't know the significance of it.
i woke up, and my stomach felt all weird too. :S
anyways. soyeah.
hmmm, rest of the day was ok.
more uni stuff.
oh, and we did minority influence in psychology.
hmmm, got me thinking.
ohohohhh, and i took the bus home with jen cause we got into a big discussion over josh and how he's jealous & stuff.
clare said she may join me at huddersfield.
walked the long way home & bumped into sophie ward.
ugh. she hasn't changed a bit. & it was awkward though.
& this is a group msg i left on yim:
ohohohohh, we were actually talking about this the other day in General. & now my friend's written about it, lmao. a naked harry potter. [yes, daniel radcliffe is in a play in the West end stripping off.] & it's controversial with him being a kid's role model. xP apparently he's hot. but, for one. i hate harry potter. i despise it with a passion. it's just...ew. and yeah, so i could care less. but it's one of my random little remarks about life. xD <3 xxx
and i have a lot to do.
so this is all very quick & rushed.
<3
