jessiebell
All the hype about Spider Man 3. - Subscribe
I haven't seen it yet, cause it was sold out all weekend.
hmyeah.
<3
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jessiebell
All the hype about Spider Man 3. - Subscribe
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Argh. I haven't seen it yet, cause it was sold out all weekend. hmyeah. <3 |
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jessiebell
You Can Stand Under My Umbrella. May 15th, 2007 9:24:50 pm - Subscribe
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Ahhh, Rhianna, Gym Class Heroes & The Gossip are interchanging in my head all day! Exam stress is annoying. No one has time to socialise & i need the social support!!!!!! [cause that's how women deal with stress.] So things are not going well. None of my problems are being resolved, and there's so much extra shyt in my head; i'm worried about not doing the best i can in these exams. C'mon girl, after these; you'll have a whole summer to relax & worry about the other stuffs. Gah. At least I am able to write and articulate well again, or so it seems for now. I want the feeling of love. It annoys me. And to anonymous; Pirates is out on the 24th May over here. I can't wait to drool over Johnny Depp.  <3 |
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jessiebell
In the confusion, in the aftermath. May 22nd, 2007 9:09:12 pm - Subscribe
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i'm nothing. i'm nothing. i'm nothing. i'm no one.. i like the taste of tears. those deadly tears. i'm so unbelieveably close to death. It will happen this time because it has to. I don't want anyone to save me. I don't want to save myself. It won't happen. I know that it's already to messed up. I know that there's no one that can help me. I know that quality of life matters. So I have to get out. I kept thinking about stuff today. How i'm always going to fail in everything, how i'll end up never getting away from here, how much i'll hate my life when i'm older. I'm never going to be loved. No one cares. They don't. It's superficial. 'caring' is something different. I missed out on childhood, today i ended up buying play-doh after my Psych exams. Went into town, felt like a complete zombie and an idiot. So that was my lame way of trying to cheer myself up. I'm not ever going to be attractive to anyone. I won't ever achieve or do anything that i want to do. No one's going to help. Nothing is going to happen. I'll always remain a no one. Ohyeah, and the pathetic thing is that i'm actually starting to feel a bit scared. This is the end. It's weird. Leaving everything behind. Nothing. That's what it all is. So i'm better off elsewhere. I'm trying to feel better, yet i don't know why; cause i don't want to feel better. I need to do it soon. |
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jessiebell
Unexpected Alarm Raising. May 22nd, 2007 9:39:41 pm - Subscribe
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I'm guessing, and i'm probably correct. This is just to try and make me feel better. But, as usual; it'll never work. Why do i bother trying? No one likes me. What's the point in saying they do? I know this is my little cry out for help. But it won't be heard. :] I can't do this anymore. It's not that i want to die. I don't really. There's so much that's unknown; not that i'm scared of it. I'm just a good predictor of how it will turn out. I'm escaping while i still can. Every day, i shiver and my legs shake & i hold back from crying. Every day, i try to put on the fake face & i've been doing it forever. What's the point? For anyone who actually reads this, why do you bother? Srsly, let me know. <3 |
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jessiebell
I, i am thinking it's a sign. May 24th, 2007 2:16:25 pm - Subscribe
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So right now, i can't breathe, my eyes seem to always get teared up, i feel like puking up everytime i take a breath. It's not going well at all. I need the help, so why am i so alone? Why do i have to go it alone all the time? I can't continue on my own. This is what i want. So why am i trying to fight against it? I knew i was doing the distancing thing. But i'm practically screaming for help; can no one hear me? I can hardly keep the fake face on anymore. I'm fading. There's nothing, i can't feel anything; i'm empty. There's no one, i'm useless. Pathetic. Pathetic. <3 ;;Edit:: So I had a kitchen disaster. I can't do anything right. & i kept staring at the knives again. :s I also rly think i'm going to fail tomorrow. ohwells. like i care anymore. where things looked perfect on the outside. You never cared to take a closer look, and in the end the shadowing figure faded and disappeared. |