face down in the dirt, this doesn't hurt. i've finally had enough. ["hell bent on self destruction"]
Date: Mar 10th, 2007 1:54:56 pm - Subscribe
Mood: morbid
will someone please help me?
no one can hear me, no one listens, no one cares. i'm better off not existing.
i almost don't anyways.
i want to die. i've always wanted to die, been doing this for 10 years. But fighting all my life. well, since as far back as i can remember. a two year old shouldn't have to go through with what i did.
i let it all go a few years ago, doesn't mean it hasn't damaged me for life.
i'm actually never going to be okay. i'm gonna end up like richard.
no one can live in this world without being selfish. this is my selfish thing.
i have to die. i do.
after everything....
it jsut seems so wasted.
i had the reoccuring dream, the one about vividly killing my parents.
i can't do this anymore.
over and over again.
it's pointless.
it's like a treadmill.
you're running, but you never get anywhere.
i've had enough.
i'm giving up.
10 years. A whole decade.
And nothing much has improved at all.
i can still do this.
i'm not 18 yet.
i can and i will.
no one loves me.
no one ever will.
it's impossible.
and love can save a person.
it can.
and, i want that feeling to go away.
so i'm able to die.
i don't want comments on this entry, thanks.
<3
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