jessiebell's Blog

And it feels like rain.
Date: Jan 26th, 2007 6:36:38 pm - Subscribe
Mood: broken
Music: Jack's Mannequin - Ready

Meh.
I need someone to save me, i'm not going to get out of this alone.

Andyeah, i am a little "me orientated" at the minute.
Doesn't mean i've forgotten about anyone.
Just means i've had to stop being selfless for a while, because i'm so close to death.

I'm sick of it, really. It's like i try and help the world, but when i have problems; all they do is laugh in my face & pass by.
It's cool being different though. Just, with some things...well, most things that you feel isolated with.

I'm such a hypocrite aswell. I've known it for a long time now, but no one listens.
Then they get all surprised when i talk like this.

This morning i felt so sick. I overslept & my mum was all trying to get me out of bed. I got to college 20 mins late & there was no point of me even going in. She completely left me out, just because she has favourites in the class.
Ugh. Then I came home, went to bed for a while. Not in peace, of course. Mum was all fxcking around my room. Not because it needed cleaning or anything, simply just because she wanted to. Snooping around, i guess.
That's why i don't keep paper journals anymore. Well, since i was 13.

The dentist made my teeth bleed. ickkk.
& then mum went shopping for all these unnecessary things. I obviously had to go along, thought about dying some. So I guess it was good thinking time.

I don't care anymore.
I just really have to die. There's nothing else.
There really isn't. I'm going to be a loser all my life.
Dreams will never be fulfilled because the bottom line is that they Are just dreams. " A dream is a wish the heart makes." Wishes never come true.

Life means nothing & no one should have to live it.
Love is a big part of life, true. But, if it never existed i'm sure the world would be better off.
I mean, we'd all be dead for sure.

I think i'm going to become an alcoholic & drink my problems away.
Then become a whore, hooked on drugs.
If it works for me, then cool. If not, i'll be even more unhealthy & dying anyways.

And to the person who left me a comment on my last entry. Thanks, and i will get back to you soon.

<3
Comments: (1)

thechild - January 26th, 2007 May I pray for you? I know you don't know me, and probably never will. But I really do care, and it always hurts my heart to see people going through things like this. Don't drink your problems away when you can throw them away. Sincerley, - Somone Who Cares

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