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you need a big god, big enough to hold yr love.

Jul 4th, 2018 6:06:59 pm - Subscribe

i haven't been able to publish anything since three years ago for some reason. checking if i can now.

edit: problem seems to be resolved. back on aeonity, perhaps? i have missed online expression save the thrilling facebook updates which are a total borefest.

i have grown a lot since 2015. a healthier human. but i was as right about some things then; i need to get out of this environment and i need people's help. i am still a struggling being.

i have tried so far in 2018. i went on a whirlwind birthday weekend to belgium and stayed at a guy's place (he'd come over here to meet me for a weekend prior) but there were tons of nice moments, and he held me a lot. it's been strange to be loved/cared about (?) it's nice to be seen again for sure. although hella scary.

i also joined a emotional abuse support group. my family do not know any of the shit they carry; the baggage which i have to heal. but this group, although i have only seen them three times since jan, they're at least close and there. i have also become increasingly wiser since 2015.

i have learned a lot about self-love and self-care. always go back to the self whenever in doubt. i am learning about real love; to be loved, and to love.

may positive experiences cont...
although the past couple of months have been tough. i have realised that i have gained back my power from my oppressors, but now, i am kinda scared of that power that i hold. and i am never quite sure what to do with it.

i need a life plan. but i don't know how.

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