Plox
Date: Apr 10th, 2008 7:13:05 pm - Subscribe
Mood: doomed
I hate sick feelings. This one in particular. Knowing that my parents can't have a civil conversation with me, knowing that i'm going to have to scream and shout and cry until I can't breathe; just to keep myself alive.
It's a really bad feeling; it runs through all of me, to the core. I really fear that one more push to the dark side will be the last, that i'll never ever make it out again because I've had enough. I really have, I don't know how much more of it i'm capable of dealing with; of getting myself out of.
I've always been on my own through everything, pretty much. I'm sick of it, sick of doing things alone. I don't want it to hurt anymore.
I think I've been trying to find peace for a long time now, peace in being alone, peace in death, peace in being strong. But it always gets knocked down. I wish I had something, I don't know; just something.
I feel all shivery and scared. A hidden chill.
If i imagine the worst happening, it won't happen; will it?
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