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revisiting the past.

Nov 22nd, 2015 4:32:41 pm - Subscribe

seeing your 17 yr old self in writing, from an adult's perspective is weird to say the least. but it's very clear i've been suffering from depression for absolutely ages (and maybe that's turned into/always was other things.) i've always had issues with men, and then the human race in general. love has been a big player in my life & i've questioned if it's better to be without it rather than burdened with it 24/7. the future will always scare me & i will silently suffer (although in some ways it is less silent than before.)

i've realised that the core of me will never be able to successfully change until out of this environment (which i'm probably punishing myself by still being in it.) and also, i really need other people to help me through it. i can't do it alone, no matter how much i want to.

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