Senses twisting
Date: Apr 18th, 2008 10:22:43 pm - Subscribe
Mood: emotional
The tears; they flow so fast. Like a sudden heavy rain, beating down hard.
They roll down my face, some even down my neck. I feel each one, each little bit of salty water rushing out to escape.
Escape the pain that's left inside, it's stuck and it feels as if it's permanent.
Telling myself it's just my hormones. But then again, it's just as bad as when hormones aren't an issue.
I feel like the mask is painfully dissolving. I was just crying when Kat walked in on me and I had to run into the bathroom hiding my face. I don't know, it's like I didn't even try to hide it.
I want to trust, i want to love. I want to be saved from the pain, to not let it consume me over and over again.
Maybe strength will die at some point, and then I won't know what to do except take drastic measures.
But to know that there's no one there for you, to know no one ever has really been; it feels like it's just so much more easier and maybe more worthwhile to let the pain take over.
I wish I had something. And they say you have to feel some self-worth. But what about the people who are supposed to make you feel worthy?
And it's a funny coincidence when ex's are involved. You're quietly thinking to yourself about this sense of worth issue and in she comes with exactly what you're thinking about.
Maybe they're plotting something, planning to do this so they can be rid of me for good.
See, trust matters.
And it's his actions.
What he doesn't do,
how he is.
What she said.
don't let it get to you.
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