sigh
Date: Feb 22nd, 2008 4:55:51 pm - Subscribe
Mood: ditzy
I'm sitting here with two bottles of strawberry flavoured water and Andrew McMahon - I Need You on repeat. :(
I stayed up till half twelve last night, when i could have easily done all my work and gone to bed by ten or something. I was actually trying to punish myself. At least I got most of the sickness out of my system, the cold is actually a bit better.
I really hate myself. I don't want to go through this, not again. I've been fighting it all week, i even got the extra strength from Rich's reassurance on Sunday/Monday night. But this is inevitable, meh.
I can't do this. I just can't.
I know, Richard's calling tonight & he'll make it feel okay... until the next time.
I hate this.
I hate it.
I just hate this.
Why does he believe in me so much? ''I can't imagine you not getting in. X''
I don't deserve him. And i rly feel like pushing him away. I want to, i need to. Only to end it.
But that's not going to happen.
Sickofitall. :(
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