jessiebell's Blog

Still trying to take it in..
Date: May 11th, 2008 9:44:32 pm - Subscribe
Mood: grr


'The 'plan', the allusions to the plan (to others) and your intense need to feel..."owned" perhaps (?) by another...still all indicate to me that you don't truly want to die.

Seriously, there are many, many people who would like to have you (including me) for various reasons. Some to use you, some to protect you and some for all things in between, but none of those implies true love - particularly in the idealized, romantic-sense you demand.

You say you want to help people, too, just not yourself. In the end selflessness isn't really helping anyone except those that don't need it but want to use you anyway.

Blah, blah - I've said bunches in similar vein before with no effect. So something new. Clearly I don't know you well at all - I just know you're intelligent and require drama - so let's start with correcting that and leave the suicide thing for later, shall we?

Maybe you could come visit Jen and I this summer? Act like an au pair if you want. I can't promise tons of attention will be lavished on you because Jen and I live busy, complicated lives, and lots of stuff is yet to be done this summer, (and I'd have to enforce a 'no boys' clause on you and demand you make liberal use of toys instead,) but as long as you don't kill yourself or get pregnant or fall in love here I think it could be entertaining for all.

I'd just have to ask Jen.'
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