Into the future
Date: Oct 27th, 2007 1:30:43 am - Subscribe
Mood: disgusted


Oh so long since I have last written. How dare I abandon aeonity..... Sorry. I lost the job in which I was able to sit all day and browse the internet and constantly be on this site. Things have been going downhill at a lightening fast speed and it kills me. The "oh so wonderful Crispin" and I are no longer together and it ended in a way that no one would have ever guessed. Why did things have to go sour? Why did he have to cross a boundary that cannot be uncrossed or forgiven? Why did he have to hurt the one person in this world who means the most to me and that is my son. He laid a hand on him and bruised him. I hope you have fun with whatever charges the states gives you. Hell yes I pressed charges. But why did this all have to happen AFTER me and him decided to have a baby together? So here I am 5 months pregnant with my second child, both with different fathers, I am single unmarried and have a low paying job because it's all I can do right now because of all the complications with said pregnancy. How the hell do these things happen to me? What is the meaning behind this. People say everything happens for a reason, so GIVE ME A CLUE! Im so lost and confused right now...
I wish I could let some of this pain go. Just let it go. All the hurt from everyone in my past. My father, my ex's, all the stupid things I have done that I more than regret. It's so painful sometimes that I really do lose sleep. I just want things better. Not perfect, just better.

Im waiting.
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The Illusion of Perfection
Date: May 31st, 2007 2:21:21 pm - Subscribe
Mood: exasperated


No perfect relationship exists. Maybe in a Danielle Steel book, or a Hallmark movie script, but not in reality. If things seem perfect, wait a moment and then it become what it is meant to be which is not perfect. I have never been under the illusion that relationships can be perfect, but the imperfections that can arise I tend to be choosey. I do not take back cheaters or tolerate liars and thiefs. I don't date drinkers, druggies or lazy people. And now, here is a situation I have had yet to deal with. A psycho ex. Many of you HAVE dealt with that, and I applaud you. However, I am not sure if I can. Not sure if I have the emotional capacity for such drama. The boyfriend is wonderful, loving and caring. All that you could ask for from a man....it is his 19 year old ex, mother of his son who has get to grasp the concept of maturity. She is now sending ME messages on myspace, and I have never spoke to this girl, or seen her in person. I refuse to have anything to do with her, but yet she pokes her head into my world and thinks its ok. Wrong. I do not tolerate this. Not sure how I want to handle said situation, but I keep leaning to give it time. Eventually she has to get over it all. Or maybe she will give up.. Maybe when her birthday rolls around she will lose all her teenage inhabitions....yeah right. In any case..things are fuzzy right now and the future is unclear. Boyfriend and I have only been together one week, so even though it is not serious, I do see it in the future as turning into that.

Patience is a virtue. Someone please smack me with the virtue stick....
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Joyous OH so Joyous!
Date: May 24th, 2007 11:16:56 am - Subscribe
Mood: elated


How do I put into words my night last night?? How do I express my happiness and bliss?? I wish I could explain how my heart is pitter pattering and I cannot stop smiling. I have a glow, it is noticed among the other peons at my job. I have a bounce in my step and a aura of positivity. My worries have been forgotten for the moment.
Thank you Crispin!!!
Thank you for showing up at my door last night with a rose and a smile. Thank you for holding me and making my horrid day into a wonderful night!

If only I could count all the many wonderful things about him....

I do not think I have enough blog space in the world for this....

*pitter patter* *pitter patter*
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about me again
Date: May 23rd, 2007 5:02:57 pm - Subscribe
Mood: feverish


Life is full of wonderful amazing things. The way a fresh pot of coffee smells. The feeling you get when you are falling in love. The way it feels when your baby snuggles into you and looks at you lovingly. These things are only as great as they are because of the hardships we deal with.

I find comfort in the sunshine, and am so grateful that the winter has passed and the earth has rotated around enough for warmer weather! I am excited to take my son to the beach so he can splash in the water for the first time. I look forward to his first summer bbq, parade, and walk in the fresh cut grass. He is my world, and no one can change that.

Very few people love there job. I am not one of those very few people. I really dislike my job, but I AM one of the few people doing something about it. I am a full time student majoring in business, then I will get my degree in Journalism. I hope to be able to write about convtroversial issues and see my work on the front page.

I love photography; I get that from my grandfather who was an amazing photographer in his day. I hope that when I die the people I care about will never forget that I love them and I will always watch over them.


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THe way I am-my new myspace about me
Date: Jan 23rd, 2007 12:25:01 pm - Subscribe
Mood: animated


I cant stand the feeling of sand between my toes

I could live off of Mochas and pasta

I am a myspace whore, and I like it.

I really do not care what you think. We have never met, we will never meet, and therefore your opinion means nothing to me. But feel free to tell me anyways because I am sure it makes you feel like an important person for you to judge me.

Telling me I am hot, beautiful, gorgeous, or whatever is nice, thanks. Doesn't mean you are going to be my new best friend, I am not giving you my number, and if you don't know me in real life, do NOT give me a pet name. Especially one that is boo, bug, hot pants, or whatever else you ghetto fucks come up with.

Unless I have given you permission to do so, do NOT advertise on my profile. Do I look like myspace ebay?! NOPE. I will delete the comment.

I can be bitchy. I can be nice. I am just tired of the stupid people. I whore because I actually like to meet new people, and I try to comment everyone and talk to everyone, even though I am sure there are people out there I have missed. I don't whore for numbers.

I love talking to people who can hold an intelligent conversation! Who can spell and use the right words in the right context!

I also love to whore people out! If I like you, I'll whore you all the time just for the hell of it, without u even knowing. I try to put the most important people on my top friends, but I have so many pages of friends, it takes forever to find your pic to add you. Give it time, I am sure you will be there soon!

I love musicians, all musicians, and if you are a musician, and I like your music, I will promote you, and let you put an add on my site.

Im a mom, I love it. I think that children are a blessing!

I LOVE BOOKS! Reading is a great way to relax and gain knowledge!

Scarey movies rock. Movies with blood and gore not so much....

I love to comment peoples pages with cute glittery graphics and random things.

I wear a size 9 pants. I am HAPPY with that. I think that I am healthy, and that is the AVERAGE size of a REAL woman. Super skinny women are disgusting. I know some cant help it, but my goodness girls, EAT! In moderation of course!

I think photography is fun. I love taking pictures. I suck at getting pictures of myself, but I do it anyways because I can.

I love getting messages from people who want to chat! SEND AWAY!

I do NOT have a problem helping you out with something if you need it, just don't be a mooch =)


I know, these make me seem like some jerk, but I have been myspacing for a long time, and I have realized that some things have to be said. I WILL be updating this frequently, so stay tuned =)

Comments: (1)


the way i grew up
Date: Jan 23rd, 2007 12:01:53 pm - Subscribe
Mood: blind


Once upon a time there was a girl
In her early years she had to learn
How to grow up living in a war that she called home
Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm
Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face
Everytime my father's fist would put her in her place
Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room
Hoping it would be over soon

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK

continued below...



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I often wonder why I carry all this guilt
When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door
The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"
Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done
To you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday

It's not so easy to forget
All the lines you left along her neck
When I was thrown against cold stairs
And every day I'm afraid to come home
In fear of what I might see there

Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK
I'm OK

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HERE I AM!
Date: Jan 23rd, 2007 12:00:27 pm - Subscribe
Mood: classy


HERE I AM (END TITLE) LYRICS


Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

It's a new world - it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day - it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you
Here I am

Here we are - we've just begun
And after all this time - our time has come
Ya here we are - still goin' strong
Right here in the place where we belong

Chorus X1

Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

Chorus X2

Here I am - next to you
And suddenly the world is all brand new
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay
Now there's nothin standin in our way
Here I am - this is me

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Hope?
Date: Jan 23rd, 2007 11:57:28 am - Subscribe
Mood: tearful


"The Promise Of A New Day"

EAGLE'S CALLING AND HE'S CALLING YOUR NAME
TIDES ARE TURNING BRINGING WINDS OF CHANGE
WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY
THE PROMISE OF A NEW DAY

::Chorus::LyricsCafe.com::
THE PROMISE
THE PROMISE OF A NEW DAY

AS THRU TIME THE EARTH MOVES UNDER MY FEET
ONE STEP CLOSER TO MAKE LOVE COMPLETE
WHAT HAS THE FINAL SAY

THE PROMISE OF A NEW DAY

{Chorus x 2}

AND SO TIME OVER TIME
WHAT WILL CHANGE THE WORLD
NO ONE KNOWS
(No One Knows)
SO THE ONLY PROMISE IS A DAY TO LIVE, TO GIVE
AND TO SHARE WITH ONE ANOTHER

SEE THE WISDOM FROM MISTAKES IN OUR PAST
HEAR THE YOUNGER GENERATION ASK
WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY
THE PROMISE OF A NEW DAY

{Chorus x 2}

AND SO TIME OVER TIME
WHAT WILL CHANGE THE WORLD
NO ONE KNOWS
SO THE ONLY PROMISE IS A DAY TO LIVE, TO GIVE
AND TO SHARE WITH ONE ANOTHER

{Repeat}

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what i wouldnt give to have this...
Date: Jan 23rd, 2007 11:45:51 am - Subscribe
Mood: jealous


"No One Knows How To Love Me Quite Like You Do"

No One Knows How To Love Me Quite Like You Do
No One Knows How To Love Me Quite Like You Do

Liyah you're the only one for me,[3x]
the one for me, the one for me

[chorus]

No one knows how to love me quite like you do... [4x]

[Verse 1]

When it comes down to the things I like
Boy, you know just how to satisfy me
You pick me up when I'm down, you put my feet on solid ground
And you make me your first priority

[Bridge]

(Keep it comin') keep it comin', babe
(Cause I like it) cause I like it, babe
Don't stop cause no one knows...

[chorus]

[Verse 2]

When there are clouds on a rainy day
You know how to bring sunshine to my life
And I've never felt this way before
You make me feel like I'm your goddess

[Bridge]

[chorus]

[rap]
Well it's the L-I-Y-A-H plus the second chapter
R Kelly's spitin' tracks, as if it were tobacco
It's the ninties, time to get the pockets phat
So when I say "book", you say "read that"
Now back to the matter of the song
No one knows how to love me like you do
I got words for you...
Uh! Forever my man!!!

[chorus]

Liyah you're the only one for me, [3x]
the one for me, the one for me [till fade...]

Comments: (0)


Why do all good things come to an end?
Date: Jan 23rd, 2007 11:44:36 am - Subscribe
Mood: blotto


"All Good Things (Come To An End)"

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

[Chorus:]
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

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