Oh so long since I have last written. How dare I abandon aeonity..... Sorry. I lost the job in which I was able to sit all day and browse the internet and constantly be on this site. Things have been going downhill at a lightening fast speed and it kills me. The "oh so wonderful Crispin" and I are no longer together and it ended in a way that no one would have ever guessed. Why did things have to go sour? Why did he have to cross a boundary that cannot be uncrossed or forgiven? Why did he have to hurt the one person in this world who means the most to me and that is my son. He laid a hand on him and bruised him. I hope you have fun with whatever charges the states gives you. Hell yes I pressed charges. But why did this all have to happen AFTER me and him decided to have a baby together? So here I am 5 months pregnant with my second child, both with different fathers, I am single unmarried and have a low paying job because it's all I can do right now because of all the complications with said pregnancy. How the hell do these things happen to me? What is the meaning behind this. People say everything happens for a reason, so GIVE ME A CLUE! Im so lost and confused right now...
I wish I could let some of this pain go. Just let it go. All the hurt from everyone in my past. My father, my ex's, all the stupid things I have done that I more than regret. It's so painful sometimes that I really do lose sleep. I just want things better. Not perfect, just better.