The evening is setting in, and for once, I have not a plan for it. Reflection is always a healthy choice, though. Perhaps tonight I will alter my mind-set. But first, a brief thought before I retire to the depths of my heart.
To me, it is utterly amazing how fast things can happen, and how unexpecting the trusting soul can be. At one point in time, one can be whirling in a pit of dejection only to find benvolence right around the corner. Then, right as elation is acheived from it, it slips right through their fingertips once more. Though, it is feasible that one can become too passionate and scare off the other, only due to the fact that they yearn for the other's care. The difficulty of ending something that has lasted for so long is inescapable. And so it becomes even more strenuous to try and alter what you've been so accustomed to, for someone new.
How do you know, though? How can one be sure of anything in a fresh relationship, considering the individuality of people? The only possible way to avoid the disappointment and anguish others may cause is to not subject yourself to those relationships in the first place. The problem is, that's an empty life.
I have no plans consisting of giving up on people. As of late, I'm meerly choosing to take time for myself. Finally.
I hear it from the inside. The cursive, yet fluent echos of raindrops against my cheaply screened-in window. But my most anticipated part has yet to come. The luminescent streaks that call forth the roars from the heavens are most soothing. At night, to lie in bed and give eye and ear to such a storm is oddly comforting to me. I rest better during those nights than any other.
Unfortunately, though, the storm has just come to be, this morning. I had not the great opportunity to listen to it during my repose.
Last night was all but tranquil. My body was fitful, and my dreams were agitated. Maybe, though, this storm will imbue with me the placidity that I've longed for, lately.
For the most part, my character is one to be tender and affable. But as of late, my mind has been flooded with waves of grief from what seems to be every possible direction. Though, I cannot bare to deflate this balloon with contradiction. I simply must grow from this, and maintain optimism. And to receive something as seemingly trivial as a smile makes it all the more lucid.