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I have this.. this bug inside of me. It's holding alot of my negativity, lately. I can't find it, to get rid of it. I know what's bothering me, honestly. It's just everything, ontop of everything. Everyday, it seems like an endless pre-drowning session at the beach. I try to lift my head up, and another wave comes crashing over me again. I once again lose breath. Things used to be great. I mean, they still are. But now it's always the same. Everday is the same. I feel so hostile. I fight the norm. I keep fighting for something new. But I'm not sure what that means. I'm not really sure what I want to be different, in all. I suppose July will be better. Until then, though, I'm stuck with my self-misery.. This bug that has entered my loving self. Oh, how I used to love. How I used to smile. How I used to dance. I wish I had not lost that. I wish that no one would ever lose that. |