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I wish I could do something extraordinary. I wish I had a knack for something. I wish I could be recognized for something magnificent. I am so tired of my envious proclivity. I suppose it is completely frivolous to approach it this way. I suppose I'm simply venting. I just.. want to make an impression. Fairly new into this life, maybe my own time has yet to come. How long does it take, though? What if I never find that thing? This exploration of self is formidable. |
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Enter my thoughts. Inside, you'll find my darkest desires. Upon unfolding, there is something fresh, you may notice. Tonight I choose to share it. Hopefully only once, and my memory will flush it into the sewers of my heart to be forgotten. I.. think I hope. Something has invaded my perfect world. I had a plan. I had very high hopes for it. But now I find that it is second-rate. Plans shmans! I am me. And in being so, I can get exactly what I want. But I desire the unattainable. I desire these things, but I am only given the opportunity for one. So choose, I must. I am foolish, I agree. "You cannot have your cake and eat it as well!" I know, I know. My heart wont take two directions, in any case. One will always come up fraudulent. My body so craves, and my heart so cries out, though. Please, tell no one. |
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Why does this keep happening, everytime I settle down? Does that mean my choices are below me? I cannot conclude. Why does this keep fucking happening? I'm so happy, it's inconceivable. |
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I yearn to tell you my thoughts, in the most picturesque of ways. I want to paint you a rapturous masterpiece. I want to sketch a mountain of sheer sincerity. I want to stitch a heart for you, the size of Jupiter. I want it to be as delicate as your silken tongue. I want to shape a collage, giving center stage to every moment you make my lips curl in that upward fashion. I want to sculpt an object from a soft clay, created from every reason that I want to tell you that I love you. Ask me what I'm thinking one more time. |
| I'm a murderer. |