Maximilion & Julia Sanchez's Blog

Arch Nemesis: Santa
Date: Nov 29th, 2006 1:33:57 am - Subscribe
Mood: I love compound bows...


Christmas time is here again. For most of you it is the reminder of laughing and eating with family and friends, sharing gifts and singing merrily along with dusty Nat King Cole albums. But for me, Maximilion, Christmas means the ideal time of year to set up arms against my arch nemesis: Santa Clause.

Every year I put up with this seasonal stalker as he judges and condemns the children around the world. Handing out coal, rewarding toys to brat kids, Santa resides on quite the high reindeer. If he’s so powerful, why is he working at ‘Macey’s’? So this year I have taken the liberty of over stalking my shelves with a unique assortment of novelties for the obese turkey who dares to be smoked right out of my chimney.

The first novelty is a must, a compound brick launcher to which this season I will be replacing with snowballs. I have purchased several of these to ensure the safety of my property. The second is squirrel pudding for those mangy donkeys that can fly. Hopefully this will distract them while I ambush their fat frenzied friend. (Of course he’ll be frenzied when he’s blasted in the arse with snowballs). The third is peanut butter. Why?-you may ask. Mr. Clause happens to have an allergy to Peanuts. That’s why kids usually don’t find Peanut Butter snacks, Oh Henry’s and Reece’s Piece’s in their stockings. See, Hershey’s and Purdy’s chocolates feel the same way about Santa as I do. So I am going to simonize the smoke chamber with peanut butter- extra chunky. The next step is to have a camera on standby that is hooked up with trigger wire to catch this menacing creep in the act. I also purchased a copy of ‘The Sound of Music’ as Santa seems to fear that movie. (Hence no one ever finding that in their stocking). And then from there most of the plan involves duct tape, Vaseline, a katana, a black knight (that only comes to life at a full moon or Christmas), my mighty mouse costume and every food that has ever been converted to low fat/no fat (that’ll give him nightmares till next year). I’m sure there are some other things, but so far this I have intricately planned. I also have decided that I will watch all this from my underground secret lair from the security monitor with all the food that isn’t low fat/no fat and make loud crunching, slobbering sounds over the speakers placed carefully in the house. You do the math.

Stay tuned for further updates there’s plenty more to come.

Max-

also- I'll post my letter to Santa as well for liability reasons...

check out the 'to do list' for details
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To Do List
Date: Nov 29th, 2006 1:31:06 am - Subscribe
Mood: expectant




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Casino Royale
Date: Nov 22nd, 2006 9:56:13 am - Subscribe
Mood: pleased




Casino Royale

Tuesday is a good day for movies. Why you might ask, because the Cineplex no longer offers cheapy Tuesday’s but the small town theatres do. So if I drive twenty minutes that way and make a left there I can find myself watching ‘Casino Royale’ for $5. This makes me happier than a herd of turtles in the rain. And considering all the rain we’ve been getting, I am sure you can imagine just how happy I am.

First Off: Our evil villain Le Chiffre played by Mads Mikkelsen has asthma, a lazy eye (well alright, it just looks like he’s been in one too many bar fights) and pouty lips that only Johnny Depp and David Duchovny can pull off. Other than that I’d say he’s just one of many villains. I do think he does a good job, however I was a little thrown off by just how many bad guys there were.

Secondly: Daniel Craig as 007. Huh. I showed up to the theatre expecting disaster and thought I would leave saying, “Well that’s a start…” But instead I was taken off guard by how good he was at playing Bond. I think just now in order of favorite Bonds it goes Sean Connery and Daniel Craig tied for number one.

As for ‘Vesper Lynd’ played by Eva Green I found to be quite the disappointment, not to forget about Mads little chew toy Valenka. Never the less I was shaking my head more often than not at these two girlies as it is sad to say that the only beautiful woman in the film was in fact the dead girl, Caterina Murino who played Solange. I always remember the Bond Women as beautiful women not pretty girls. Not to mention full figured, (there is a difference between curves and rolls and the only thing real in this film was our girlie’s rack- which by the way I am glad for).

Overall the first chase in the movie was highly entertaining consisting of many noteworthy chocolate covered espresso bean events. I felt throughout the movie that most much like myself, had doubts about Craig being Bond but I am sure anyone can find in this film that he compensates for not looking exactly like a Bond to sending the feeling and taking on a better original style of Bond I think even Connery would envy. With his cheekiness and classic 007 wit with a side of alcoholism and trigger happy personality the action in this shoot out is defiantly worth seeing.

It is settled, Chris Cornell managed to pull off the Bond theme well enough and though the opening credits were tasteful let’s face it, it’s not a complete Bond movie without half naked women walking through Albert Broccoli’s name.

Casino Royale +9



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Oh and don't forget to check out because it's worth a mild chuckle:
http://www.veoh.com/videoDetails.html?v=e160244HNkjHnz7
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The Cookie Mission
Date: Nov 17th, 2006 9:29:58 am - Subscribe
Mood: mmmm Cookie....


I came across these recipe's and thought some of you might appreciate them.
Enjoy,
Julia

Banana Bread

Preheat the oven to 350°F

3 ripe bananas, mashed
1/3 cup melted butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg (beaten separately in small dish)
2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 1/2 cup of flour

Using a wooden spoon, mix the butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg & vanilla. Sprinkle the baking soda & salt over the mixture & mix in. Add the flour last & mix. Pour the mixture into a buttered 4x8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack.


Vanilla Cookies

Preheat oven 300°F

1/2 cup shortening (my preference: becel olive oil margarine)
1 cup of sugar
1 egg (beaten)
1/4 cup of milk
5 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

Cream shortening & sugar thoroughly. Beat the egg & add milk & vanilla. Sift all dry ingredients together. Add wet & ingredients alternatively to the mixture. Drop from tsp onto greased cookie sheet. Bake 20min.

*if you're not fussy, mixing all ingredients together is fine with avoiding the alternative mixing between dry and wet ingredients.*

*this recipe is also nice if you want to add some chocolate chips*

Happy Cookie Baking!

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October Edition
Date: Oct 25th, 2006 6:36:53 am - Subscribe
Mood: laughable


The Haunting Maximilion Newsletter
October Octubre Octobre Oktober Ottobre Outubro Октябрь 10 月 2006
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Joke of the Month:
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.

Evil Fortune of the month:
Don’t chase the Mongoose. Even if the situation is desperate. Don’t chase the Mongoose.

International Creepy Rhythm:
Nathalie Choquette: La Muse et la Lune

Creepiest Album of the Month:
The Jackal OST

Most Haunting Story:
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Written By Washington Irving

Find it here at Free Literature http://www.bartleby.com/310/2/2.html

Website of the Month:
Find Emo the Angry Rock at http://www.totoro.org/emo/

Word of the Month:
Tmesis: Separation of the parts of a word by another word, e.g. abso-bloody-lutely
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Monthly Journal

Good Morning beautiful world. Speaking of world, does anyone remember there being a “Legend of Zelda” cartoon? Well I found it on Azureous. They’re about fifteen minutes each. Not much for the ear or eye as Link pretends to be a man more often than not which is most annoying. But I couldn’t help but chuckle anyways at what a babe Zelda is and what a twit Link is. *chuckle* I actually felt rewarded and thankful that as a child of the nineties I could appreciate such crap. *sigh* Anyways. That’s my flashback for now. Other than that did you guys know that Squirrel Pudding isn’t actually made of squirrels? I was thinking of letting my neighbor know before he finds out the hard way.
Cheers.
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Today’s Solemn Debate: CSI vs. X-Files
In the end, the truth is out there…

Most recently I have discovered that channel M is playing the show “The X-Files” which stages every week day after Letterman. (aprox 12:35am) When I watched the show I was rather pleased to see that I could watch a good mystery without consistent amounts of gore or drama. I am usually an avid CSI viewer but as of the last few months find the blood and dramatic makeup a bit much for my taste.

I have also been known to enjoy a good wholesome episode of ‘old fashioned’ “Law & Order” (insert Law & Order Concluding sound here) the one they used to play with Samuel Waterston and Benjamin Bratt. I just haven’t been enjoying shiny new crime scene drama. The gushing blood just isn’t as enticing as it once was. So now I plan on including ‘the X-Files’ in my regular routine. No more oddly disturbing brain malfunctions and blood spatters on a camera lens. No more male transvestite lesbian clowns trapped in a killers body with bad hair. I’ll stick with my aliens thank you. The noticeably plastic severed hands and water with food dye blood and authentic 90’s style of solving paranormal crime. Yup. That’ll do it.

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I am sure this segment has a name. I just don’t know what it’s called…
***
The Mummy

It’s time to poke fun at classic Halloween characters. Let’s start with the beloved Mummy. Although his appearance may not be too frightening I am sure that he is every surgeon’s lawsuit nightmare. Further more, is it really respectful of us to ‘make fun’ out of an ancient Egyptian tradition? Or was it common for them to pull pranks similar to this. “Hey guys, Omar is going to pretend to the dead guy at the ceremony. This is going to be hilarious. When the time is right he’s going to jump out and scare the canopic jars out his hands! Don’t tell Bob.” And what if the guys performing the ritual decided that they wanted to get home in time to watch ‘Law & Order Criminal Intent’ and would skip the embalming process and jump straight to the wrapping and burial part. Omar would be screwed. On the upside he would have gotten a free bath and smell great.
Max Rating of +6
***
Rock Star

Grow up. Find a job. Move out of your parents’ house. And Buster wasn’t ‘shot’. He was taken care of the ‘old yeller’ way. During my commute each morning I see these kids dressed like their about to ‘bring in the new hell year’. Okay, I can respect one’s desire to look like an eighteen year old rock star with a twenty four hour erection that’s just rolled out of bed and has an extreme hang over as though they’ve banged every chic in the country and by banged I do mean they were so drunk off their arse that they just went up to some random girl and started to make obscene gestures but do they really have to use that much hair product? And alright I get it; you wore a tie with a kilt and hooker boots. Ooh boogey boogey, you’re out to make trouble for the establishment. But why for the love of candy would you dress up as one of these people for Halloween? *throws hands up in the air*
Max Rating of -4
***
Nun/Priest

Oh no. *slaps forehead*. Although I suppose the thought of this one is actually the scariest thing you could be. First off: your celibate. Secondly you’re like God’s secretary. (And not the one who gets weekends and holidays off.) The good news is (no pun intended) that you’re now union based. Alright that’s a start. The bad news is Ted in accounting is conveniently laundering money on the side through the system. Not to mention if you ever use the Lord’s name in vain he shows up, “What? Look Sister Kate that’s the fourth time today. WTF?” Although I suppose Halloween for them is like, “Look Sister Kate! I’m a Christian this year!” And Sister Kate would be all, “Ruth damnit! As a Catholic I don’t approve of your costume!” And Sister Ruth would be all, “That’s alright Sister Kate. I’m a Christian, I’ll forgive you.”
Max Rating of +6.66
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TRL TOMB RAIDER LEGEND REVIEW

A few months ago I purchased the “TRL” (Tomb Raider Legend) PC game. Yes PC. Overall the game wasn’t too difficult. Lara is sexier than ever and her nemesis looks so malnourished it makes you tilt your head and squint your eyes each time you see her. Meanwhile I couldn’t help but wonder, Has Lara outdone herself with stupid rather than foxy? I dig her wardrobe and absolutely love her humble abode. But… Hear me out… I see villain. Initial reaction kill villain. Lara’s initial reaction: “hey the ceiling is pretty!” WTF!?!?! Lara I am going to let the mercenaries kick your ass rather than continually saving your dumb neck.

WHY? Apparently in the Eidos meeting some moron was all about: “Because we have an action cam whenever Lara whips out her pistols she’ll face the direction of the camera not the direction of the target. And also!!! When she is firing how about we not let her turn around. What if we disabled that part.”

That man deserves to be shot. Why? Because I spent ten seconds shooting at the ceiling while the action cam so gracefully moved in circles around me while pointing in an upward direction. damn. But it’s not all downhill from here. On the extra points side when pressing the jump button twice you can jump on a guy and then the game will slam into ‘slow motion’ which is so fit. On top of this I appreciate the way they have inserted a kind of Kings Quest feel for the Croft Mansion as you get to solve a mystery.

So despite Lara gone stupid and Eidos whoring off TRL to Crystal Dynamics which has unfortunately changed the biography of Lara and the plot of which the first six TR’s have been running on, I rather enjoyed myself playing.
Max Rating of +12

Not too mention for all of you who have the game, download the ‘trlsavegame.exe’ which will enthrall you by providing all the saved games you ever needed. Also, see the tombraiderchronicles webpage for WIN Patches for the game so it will run a bit smoother.

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