Life is a lemon and I want my money back.
Date: Mar 20th, 2008 4:47:49 am - Subscribe
Mood: whimsical
Thoughts: lawl

I'm annoyed with myself for letting my entries become so irritatingly haphazzard.

But then again I really don't have much to say. My life is boring.

There is the ever present back-and-forth, I-hate-you-don't-leave-me relationship with B., my ever decreasing mental state, and my friends and family constantly pissing me off to the point of murder and then making me love them more than life itself.

All in all, same old same old.

Except, B. and I bought a ferret together. He is albino and his name is Warlock. We love him dearly, yet for different reasons. For me, he is motivation to get up in the morning, and a deterrent from the unhappy thoughts that constantly lurk in the back of my mind. For B., he provides a stable sense of normality; knowing that he will act exactly the same toward him as the last time he saw him is utter heaven for B. He also loves the fact that Warlock makes me smile and laugh. According to him I don't do that much anymore, and when I think on it, it's true. It pains B. to know that he is, or is at least part of the reason that I don't so much anymore, and anything that gives me an excuse to is gold in his eyes.

Another thing. J. IM'd me today. I'm suprised she actually had the balls to even consider speaking to me, and I told her exactly that. She asked if she was supposed to be afraid of me. I said, no. You should be terrified, because you have absolutely no idea how close I literally came to murdering you that night.

She didn't say anything after that, so I guess she does have some brain cells after all.

And, after I stopped shaking from rage, I laughed. Hard. So hard that I fell out of my chair. So hard that I couldn't breathe, and actually scared my family.

Whether it was from incipient hysteria or not knowing what some people are thinking these days anymore, I don't know.

What I do know, or at least I think I know, is that things are starting to get better. I hope.
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