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hi guys!! did you miss me? i sure missed yall! last night was my first official night back in town and i hung out with manda, dustin, brita and sean. it was a blast. we went and saw the skeleton key...wow, it was good. anyway, that's about it. IM me!! or email me! Love, Jes |
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ok, so my driving habits aren't that bad are they? last night my mom tells me that they suck, and someone that i know hates getting into a car with me because of how i drive. that hurt. i've been clean for accidents since september of last year, that's almost a whole year. what a way to kick off the rest of my summer...um, not. so tell me something to cheer me up. i honestly would just like to curl up under a rock for the rest of my life...that's how great i feel today...go life....yeah, not. ok, i'll be cheerful, at least my friends still love me. |
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so i've been watching tv all day. this is a sad state of affairs. i come back into town to work, and they don't give me any hours. ugh. i may as well just go back over to the lake with barney, because at least he misses me. i've been hanging out with my mom, and i'm glad because we haven't seen each other all summer. and apparently my cell phone doesn't ring, what is up with that? i don't know what else to say. |
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so yesterday morning, i woke up at 630 to get ready for work, and when i was brushing my teeth, i started shaking, and then there was a cold sweat that i had, my vision blurred, and i felt so faint...it scared the shit out of me. not to mention the stabbing pains in my gut that pretty much raped me all day. it sucked. then i got bitched out by my mom, because she doesn't like who i talk to. she said that if i keep on talking to this said person i would have to find another place to live...give me a fucking break. anyway, my boyfriend is pissed at me because i'm working tonight, instead of hanging out with him...seriously, i'm not in the mood for his pissiness....we can watch movies any night of the week...besides all he wants to do anyway is fool around...which i don't want to because i have a visitor for 5-7 days. grr...boys and bitchy girls...ugh. |
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my brothers are over here, and rolling around on the floor next to me, doing kindergarten-like gymnastics...i wish i could warp back to their age for a day, they have it so easy, they don't even know. if i was ben's age again, i would tell someone how i felt about them...yes, yall, i regret not doing that. but. i also regret what i did this past april. the "bastardly act" wasn't directed towards me. i was probably the cause of it...i don't understand how i can feel so strongly about someone, then get so cold when i'm with them....its scary, and confusing. i love my boyfriend, he's one of a kind....sure he's going to be a military zombie this year, and for like the rest of his life, but god, i just can't even think about telling him that i'm unsure...because my visitor was late like almost by a week...and that episode i had earlier this week....i thought for sure it meant something serious, something that i would regret...which makes me absolutely sure that i don't want to do any fooling around for a long time...at least until i'm in a secure and mature relationship. i just get so confused. especially recently. with all of this new info i've found out from someone, it changes things, it sort of cleaned me for lack of better words. so dear friends, here i rest with disappointment and regret, collide, lying awake at night, cuz its too important... |