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on friday my aunt called me and i ended up crying on the phone for our whole conversation... saturday was the last day with the play, and i got called on stage and was given a rose...i didn't think that they would do that... other than that...i'm still trying to hang on...but its so difficult knowing that there isn't a lot i can do, or that i think i can do i hate getting up in the morning, i'd rather just sleep and not worry about all the negativity in my life right now...all the hassle i have to do with prom... it just doesn't seem worth it to me...i'll like spending time with my friends...but...will it be superficial? |
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i'm a bit better i got new converse, so i retired my old ones...it feels like the end of an era...who knew you could get so emotionally attatched to a pair of shoes? my blue and yellow converse have been with me through a lot...and well...it was hard to say goodbye... anyway, i got my grad outfit too. a royal blue shirt with tan pants and really cool flip flops...my mommy was feeling bad because well...i had a fever yesterday...it was bad... but i talked to chris...he said i was his favorite girl...i dont want to get my hopes but...but i just cant help myself... later cowboys |
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its official. the best words ever! "this is the first day of my life, i'm glad i didn't die before i met you..." that's the song i listened to all last night...and at 1154....it happened. chris even wrote me a good luck email for my tests today...he's such a sweetie! i feel blessed. |
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prom was this weekend. and everything felt complete. the happiness was there to share, with the smiling faces and the loving words. the gyrating bodies, and sweaty dance floor is a memory in itself...something that could have possibly been better, but none the less, absolutely fun. i feel so in love, like not a thing could go wrong. i'm high on a cloud looking down in the past at myself...a girl who almost couldn't go on. she was so different than the person i am now. sad and depressed, she couldn't take what was before her. but everything's changed. she no longer harbors the hate she had for the man who broke her heart...she pities him instead. she's no longer forlorn or broken on the inside. the man of her dreams fixed her perfectly. the sun shines everyday in my heart even if it rains...and the storms don't scare me anymore...they remind me of a new beginning...a time for lovers to come together in peacefullness while the world is in turmoil. the love that i hold...the love of millions around the world can't be broken... and the song i think of...when i think of chris...is simply sweet...and true. This is the first day of my life Swear I was born right in the doorway I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed They're spreading blankets on the beach Yours is the first face that I saw I think I was blind before I met you Don't know where I am, don't know where I've been But I know where I want to go So I thought I'd let you know That these things take forever, I especially am slow But I realized how I need you And I wondered if I could come home I remember the time you drove all night Just to meet me in the morning And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed You felt as if you'd just woke up And you said, "This is the first day of my life I'm glad I didn't die before I met you Now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you And I'd probably be happy" So if you want to be with me With these things there's no telling We'll just have to wait and see But I'd rather be working for a paycheck Than waiting to win the lottery Besides, maybe this time it's different I mean I really think you like me |
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i'm dying to do something different. i want to change, to leave something behind and start something new. all that's here are memories that are old and full of anger. the lives here are wonderful but affected. i'd love to go to the east coast and just be there...with the ocean. a new start, a new area, a new location. a new person. if i leave, don't worry, i'll be in maryland. meet me in maryland...meet me there. |