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marlene with a little intelligence and skill - Subscribe

Foot seems to be healing well I think. My roommate and I went for donuts yesterday which is about a 20 min walk ...in shoes. Probably wasn't a good idea, probably only damaged it more. But I can feel it healing.

Sunday night when i go back to work, i have to do it with that guy...the manager is gonna talk to him about how he asked me out and whatnot, so I'm sure it'll be awkward ...we'll see I guess. I just want the whole thing to go away.

On a lighter note, my paycheck yesterday was 150$s more than I expected, put a smile on my face =)

Haven't slept in 24 hours now, I'm making quite a routine out of the whole barely sleeping thing. Very excited, my roommates are going to their family's houses for the holidays so i get the apartment to myself the whole time.
Yes, i know many will and have said their concern for how i'll be having a lonely christmas. But let it be known, each roommate had invited me for the family gathering, but i can't leave town either way, for i work sunday. Either way, feel not sorry for me! I love being alone. Is that weird? I will have my cat though, and the chinese food joint across the street =) it'll be a lovely christmas.

A woman at work got me a christmas card. Now I will always say I don't like christmas, don't get me anything, bla bla. But being at work, a fairly new employee who works nights with little chat between coworkers, I have not made many friends, this is fine. At this time of year, everyones joking around and trading gifts while i just sit there and watch. The card brightened my day even if she got one for everyone too.
The difference you made, you'll never know my friend.

0 Comments
Mood: insecure

marlene from that job that makes you sleep back to the thoughts that keep you awake Dec 21st, 2007 12:21:14 pm - Subscribe

My foot is dead. I cant move it without tear jerking pain, let alone walk on it. And I just toughed 8 hours of work, standing in the uniform shoes that hate me to have my roommate say im faking it.

Please Mr. Roommate.
Look at these blisters, look at the pus ...tell me now I'm lying.

I just didn't want to waste the bandaids i had so perfectly on to show him.

On another note. I quit my job about a week and a half ago, or something, and I'm scheduled the rest of this week. I figured fine, i'll do it, get another paycheck, whatever. They posted next weeks schedule ...guess who's working before and after christmas? Yep ...
Me. W.t.f.
Oh well, I've been talking to my mom about moving and it looks as though it'll be postponed for an unknown amount of time, I may as well be making money while i wait and see.

My roommate deleted all my songs off his computer, is it fucked up that made me cry? Its kinda weird, I had it all saved because i wanted to burn it, I even brought blank cds, many of them, when i moved in, but my roommate used the last 3.
700 songs just gone ...man, musics like my life. That's just fucked. If theres any good way to end a bad day, well, this sure as hell is not it.

Man, I can't even walk right.

Just shoot me now

1 Comments
Mood: disoriented
Current Tune: Playlist Not Found

marlene If you need me, you can call me on the road Dec 18th, 2007 1:33:47 pm - Subscribe

I have to work tonight.
I haven't slept in 48 hours.
Hopefully coffee will do the trick ...lots and lots of coffee.

Not much to report to be honest. I've finally discussed with my mom plans for the big move. So perhaps a date is soon coming that I know when to be prepared for.
Heh, me be prepared. It doesn't matter, I won't start getting ready until the last minute is humanly possible to get it done anyway.

My roommate woke me at 7am this morning making waffles and I swear, he tries to be as loud as possible (i sleep in the living room, by the way). This sucked, especially when you take into account the fact I no longer have an eternal clock, so falling asleep isn't as common to me as it once was. I fell asleep at 5:30am. Yay! An hour and a half of sleep. So ...it's 1:30pm now and my other roommate is in a cleaning mood. Vaccuuming, moving everything, in and out of each room of the apartment.
What is sleep?
Don't know if i'll make it. Maybe i should just call in sick. I need to quit this week anyway for my moving plans ...
Sleep ...

1 Comments
Mood: defeated
Current Tune: Camera Obscura - Alaska

marlene I'll never do you no harm Dec 14th, 2007 9:00:02 am - Subscribe

Is it just me, or are a lot of entries advertisements of somesort?
Keep clickin ones on front page to read.

Weight Loss.
Learning how to play poker.
Vacation packages.

Not that i mind too much, just wanna see real entries. =(

Anyway ....

I'm quitting my job tomorrow, thats final. I'm getting out of this situation, this weekend is my last. I get no sleep and nights are killing me. My coworker makes me awkward. Customers are complete assholes over simple mistakes. I need a better job.

I need my hometown. I need my mom.

I should call her tonight. Get it organized, start packing, maybe get a date. I should go back to school.

I hope I find better work in Barrie, I hope all my old best friends are still there and not sour about how I left them all 2 and a half years ago.

0 Comments
Mood: insomniac
Current Tune: The Beatles - Oh Darling

marlene I want you, I want you so bad Dec 13th, 2007 7:54:48 am - Subscribe

Been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. Last night, I got incredibly tired at 1am, which is weird for me. So I went to sleep, woke again at 4 for two hours, then fell back asleep for another hour. Woke up and couldn't fall back asleep even though my eyes were heavy and my head was cloudy.

I don't know. Maybe sleep isn't that important.

I'm scared, I never called the guy at work when i said i would. I hope he won't be mad. Would it sound like bullshit if i said i lost his number?
I hope not. It's the only excuse I can think of.
My horoscope kind of got me today.

Someone may be shaking up your world today, Marlene, and this might be a difficult pill to swallow. Realize that this is exactly what you need right now to get your lazy bones into gear. Don't look to others to try to change the situation. Change what you can change - yourself. If you feel like a victim, adjust your way of thinking. Only you can control your reactions and feelings in regards to a particular situation.

Maybe this will be the push i need to start packing and get well on my way to moving home. Yes home. I havent had one of those in what feels like forever. Maybe things will make sense when i get there.

Or maybe they'll make less.

I need to worry less about outcomes and just dive in.
Like I did before I was an adult.

I told you 'bout strawberry fields, you know the place where nothing is real. Well heres another place you can go, where everything flows.

2 Comments
Mood: burned
Current Tune: The Beatles - Glass Onion

marlene You stood there so brave Dec 12th, 2007 1:06:14 am - Subscribe

So a guy at work asked me out.
He has 2 kids and looks as if he's just over the age of 30.

For those of you who don't know.
I'm childless and just a few months over 20.

I work nights with him alone usually ...

If i say no, he won't be too kind to me.

If i say yes ...things could get awkward.

I think I'd rather be ignored.

Oh, is anyone else having a problem in CP? The dropdown menus arent accessable for me. I can't add Friends, edit profile or templates unless from first window.
Is something wrong with me? ='(

2 Comments
Mood: eh
Current Tune: Neutral Milk Hotel - Three Peaches

marlene It's a morning evacution Dec 9th, 2007 9:14:52 pm - Subscribe

Another sleepless night, another wasted day on sleeping.
If any of you are ever offered a nightshift, whether you get more money for it or not, do not take it.

Got to go to work in an hour and I'm dreading it. I tried to get a hold of my mom this evening, but no answer, so I'm going to try and call again then write an email if still no answer. I need to get out of here, I think.

Alas, I must get some things finished with my day before it starts feeling like my life is all work, no play.

'i'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find. without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?'

2 Comments
Mood: tired
Current Tune: The Shins - New Slang

marlene Where oh where to begin Dec 9th, 2007 7:35:41 am - Subscribe

I had to use a default template cause apparently my custom one i thought was amazing looked like butchered, yet colorful poo on other pcs. Maybe I'll get my HTML skill back at some point.

So much catching up to do but I'll try not to bore you all!
Been through my hardest breakup ever 2 months ago. Left me more broken than anything I've ever experienced, but life goes on and fighting is something I've learned to do and will always do. I've met someone great now so we'll see how that goes =)

I'm bunking with a couple friends these last few months workin a midnight shift that I would believe to be killing me. I never get sleep and my roommates always need money from me. An opportunity to move in with my mother has come up though which i think would maybe be just what the doctor ordered~
She said she'll put 1000$s into buying me a laptop if I come home. Don't know if she's trying to fix her past mistakes with material items ...but i need a laptop and I can't even describe how much I long for that feeling of home again.

Things have been crazy within the family and some things have happened that I believe have led my mom to try her hardest to fix the distance between us. My brother had overdosed on heroin over the summer, the doctors say he cheated death. He's lost 80% of his hearing and I'm not sure if it'll save our family or break it further. But as they say, nothing brings people together like a great tragedy (or something?)

No need to be sad though! I have independence, I have my health (i think) and i have the love of my life in my lap. My amazing cat Spectre.

This time I mean it, i'll try and update as much as possible! I've missed you guys and this site is still as amazing as ever.
I <3 you Aeonity. (Emoblog for you oldschoolers like me)
-Marlene

2 Comments
Mood: euphoric
Current Tune: Kind of Like Spitting - The Thrill of the Hunt

mux pwnsauce Dec 5th, 2006 7:47:26 pm - Subscribe

so yeah ive been bored all day went and hung out with some friends at CCs a cyber cafe in almont, it was aight i got the patch from there to so i didnt have to download it here at home

other then that i didnt really do anything, wow aint gunna be up for another 20 mins or so i wanna play it a lil b/c of all the new content they addes sorta excited about it i need to sign up for temporary unemployment soon so i can get some extra cash instead of the 2 days of work i do all week i also wanna talk to brian the owner of the Cyber Cafe about possibly working there

that place is perty cool they got like 20 computers in which u can buy time on and play games on they got BF 2142 which im perty good at flying the hover jet

reminds me of when i wanted to be an apache helicopter pilot lol

but anywhew ill update later on how i like the patch should be fun tonight 2v2 3v3 5v5 arena fighting is in this patch to where u can pick members and fight against others

anywhew talk to u laters

0 Comments
Mood: Happy
Current Tune: Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve

mux <3 WoW! Dec 4th, 2006 10:53:53 am - Subscribe

sup guys been a while

its been about a year or more since ive last updates lol im sorta wanting to start keepin a blug again but i dunno not much happens with meh during this time of the year i've mainly been playing lots of world of warcraft since i have a lot of free time since all meh friends are at school.. im actually perty pumped today tomorrow wow is releasing content from the much anticipated xpansion "The Burning Crusade" i have a few high lvl chars but im more pumped for my shaman (god class) i kno i sound like i have no life and play a game all my life but u'd understand if u we're in my position all my friends play the game so hey why not have fun playing a game while chatting it up with them in the game yah kno?

incase u dont kno what World of Warcraft is you can visit www.worldofwarcraft.com and read some info about it theres 7 million people world wide that play, lots of them arent hardcore gamers and some only play for 2-3 hours a day and cans till progress in the game as good as the hardcore gamers mainly because of the 40 man raids in which 40 people get together and kill shit its kinda fun especially when u get inot a vent server and get to Bullshit with people from all over the united states and other countries (mainly austrailians( crazy people they are) but yeh

why im excited is because tomorrow they are gunna make the game about 20x funner and then in january they are gunna release the full expansion increasing the content of the game almost by 50% but tomorrow release means my shaman can dual wield weapons which means i can OMGWTFPWN Noobs

Shaman= class that is an all around jesus class they can walk on water (not lieing) bring people back from death, Self ressurect(SP?) themselves when they die, strike people with lightining, all they cant do is make food and water from nothing (mages can do that : /)

but yeah now i sound like a real geek but to be honest theres 7 million more people that talk like this :p LAWL

ill try to take some screens of my characters to show yah some cool shit ill try to update as much as i can remember to

but its hard when u forget

-edit- some pictures

7 Comments
Mood: pumped :D
Current Tune: Mad World - Gary Jules

paperdoll the simple things in life Nov 15th, 2006 3:21:58 pm - Subscribe

closed at work last night it went well i learned front line well kinda well bart was trying to teach me.

then talked with alison and bart about life

then went to barts house and cuddled and watched connan ah the simple things in life.. (hahaha and no eddy i dont mean my underwear)

my life is going well

kisses
ariel

1 Comments
Mood: better
Current Tune: The Used - Im A Fake

marlene Don't know which way to go. Aug 30th, 2006 1:05:55 pm - Subscribe

The nerves are kicking in. I'm getting nervous about everything. Moving home, can I do it. If I'm getting nervous about this ..what about London. At least I have something waiting there.

Best friend might get me a job at Petsmart. That'd be nice.

I wish these feelings would ease up.

oh! Where has all my friends gone.

4 Comments
Mood: unlucky
Current Tune: Chantal Kreviazuk - All I Can Do

marlene Long time no see. Aug 27th, 2006 12:26:00 pm - Subscribe

I wanna move to England.
I wanna make my dreams come true. I hope I can make it. Will know in a couple months.

Wish me luck.

I'm moving back with my mom. That's my first step.

I never wanted something so bad, I hope I'm strong enough!

4 Comments
Mood: sunny

paperdoll accomplishment Aug 22nd, 2006 3:29:35 am - Subscribe

tonight was nice i think i got him to actaully get something accomplished

and got 20questioned by the twin

im tired, et again

ariel

0 Comments
Mood: lovable

paperdoll 20 question game Aug 18th, 2006 2:37:29 am - Subscribe

im always tired lately

and my moms been up everytime ive been hoome which is annoying because im tired and she fires off the 20 question game.

i went to a funny movie tonight

and had shaved ice

-ariel

0 Comments
Mood: tired
Current Tune: The Spill Canvas- Himerus and eros

paperdoll "she wants nothing... Aug 16th, 2006 12:53:04 pm - Subscribe

...but to wake and find u there"

i tend to write in gaps of time never very many in this blog.

for once i can say my life is going pretty good.

im in love, i think.

im getting along with my parents and sister.

works ok.

my boyfriend just bought a house i think thats a bit exciting i cant wait to actaully spend time in a house instead of a basement apartment. plus the house is like a block away from mine.

1 Comments
Mood: lucky
Current Tune: Devics-Song For A Sleeping Girl

paperdoll "did u love me only in my head?" Jul 31st, 2006 5:20:13 pm - Subscribe

i went and sat judgement at my grandparents and in front of my aunts

i used to love my aunt jane i used to wish to be just like her BUT i dont see anything in her that i want in myself.

the one thing that bugs me is how they view my weight and how they told me i better stop eating fast food or ill get fat...or things i shouldnt eat.. i hate that im fine in fact been loseing weight thanks very much.

that and the critzing of my job im fucking 19 for heavens sakes my job is fine for now. plus at least im not unemployed like her thats always a good thing.

that and critizing all my friends i got from wendys its not fair what the hell does she even know she knows none of them.

im sick of being measured up and comeing up short and even my school picks arnt good enough the only good thing that this does is my parents love everything i do for awhile and stick up for me majorly.

im going to a movie and dinner with my mommy and sister

TA

-ariel

"And you can trust me not to think
And not to sleep around
If you dont expect too much from me
You might not be let down
Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feeling like I matter too
If I hadnt blown the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you"

2 Comments
Mood: horrible
Current Tune: Gin Blossoms- Hey Jealousy

paperdoll lost in a lost world Jun 21st, 2006 2:56:30 am - Subscribe

i feel dizzy and my chest hurts i need to stop this pattern i started

these things need tostop happening

tonight was weird and for some reason bothered me a little

im so tired

last night on the other hand was comfortable

cept for arguments im not in

i think you are going to become my new anchor i dont know how im gonna get through this summer

i couldnt sleep last night so i need to now

-ariel

1 Comments
Mood: stoned

paperdoll nobodys perfect Jun 17th, 2006 1:26:45 pm - Subscribe

i closed at work last night blah and i do it again tonight

and im sick of people haveing redicouluse timeing

i want to, but your timeing is lacking

i want dishies cuz im in a deep music mood

iwrote poetry again

but im not ready to put it up yet

so im putting a song that describes my mmood

Snow Patrol - How To Be Dead

Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh, my God

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking the and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride

0 Comments
Mood: fake
Current Tune: :Snow Patrol- How To Be Dead

marlene Detention! Jun 15th, 2006 9:42:57 am - Subscribe

So ...I've been skipping too much school. It just can't be helped. So today I must serve a detention. I'm debating whether or not to skip it.
Only 3 days left of school, they can't do much to me 'cept more detentions ...

Damn school making life more complicated than it really needs to be.

4 Comments
Mood: flashy
Current Tune: Bright Eyes feat Britt Daniels - You Get Yours