intellectual excuse for narcissism


i sometimes spend quite a bit of time in front of the mirror. i admit it. it's my window. it's less a narcissistic indulgence than an intellectual one. i analyze how my face looks, how my eyes peer, how different expressions convey different emotions. i like my face. god is good to me.
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my universe. mine.


my universe revolves around me. i am my own center. everyone else, including you, are all actors in my movie. everything follows a script. the tree that falls when i am not there makes no sound. wait. thats not right, in fact the tree does not fall when i am not there. it either falls in my presence or will not fall or has already fell. if i am not there, it has no register in my universe.
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love/hate + lust = me


lust. we have a love/hate relationship. lust controls my actions, my thoughts. makes me weak. losing control speaks of weakness and the lack of. stature. decency. uprightness. and yet. lust empowers. it feeds. it fuels. it ignites. it burns. primal instincts kick in and in the alpha male mode, control over lust is seen as the weakness.
and yet when i give in to it and pop through to the other side, i found nothing.
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definitions are what we live by


a man is defined by what he wants, what he doesn't want and the measures of his sacrifices. but with the right economic principles in place, you can make a man want what you choose and therefore you can define him. albeit never completely.

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the back of your neck and the front of my face


the part of the body that is most sensitive to touch is the back of the neck because no one sees the back of their necks. all information stored in their brains associates that part of the body with touch. the feel of a pillow, the ground, someone's hand, a collar. try looking at something and imagine pressing that object to the back of your neck. now try imagine holding it in your hands. i could be wrong but it's been pretty convincing, hasn't it?
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family


if i start to grow colours on my head, tell my family that i love them. tell them that i almost had all the answers. tell them i wished i was a greater agent of change. tell them i learnt a lot from them. tell them i didn't try, i did. tell them i forgive them and hope they forgive me.

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irony


i think irony is when you laugh without a trace of humour. malice is when the other person is laughing. insanity is when everyone laughs together. insanity can also be called politicking.
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first


first post but hardly virginal.
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