kiseki's Blog

self-torture (when will I ever learn?)
Date: Jul 18th, 2006 4:55:30 pm - Subscribe
Mood: sluggish
music: Body Crumbles - Dry Cell

I was just reading something off the 'net, when I came across a familiar song title and band. I wasn't too sure, but I downloaded the song anyway and, yes, it was one of those familiar songs.

I remember I used to store a copy of it on my old hard drive way back in 2003 (?). A...friend first introduced the song to me. I don't remember how; if he texted a portion of the lyrics to me (in that spontaneous way in which he was the only one who ever did that to me), or if he left the whole lyrics as an offline message on Y!M, or if he texted the title and artist name in such a vague way that I had to ask him what it was (then he'd ask me to download it and listen to it, or he'd play it on his PC while we talked on the phone). I just...

*sighs* I miss him.

Even if there's a risk that no one will believe me when I say that I don't miss him as much as I did back then, I'll still say it. I don't miss him as much.

Or maybe I miss what had been, and not necessarily him?

I still hear stuff about him from common friends. Part of me (that, I resignedly admit after four years, will always belong to him, whatever I do to try to forget him) wants to reach out and shake some sense into him. On the other hand, I really don't know if he'll still welcome any word from me.

*shakes head* The least I can do is pray for him.
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test from VL
Date: Jul 12th, 2006 3:23:41 am - Subscribe
Mood: relaxed

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is medium. You probably have had a couple significant loves. And you may have even had your heart broken. But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people. Dominance: Your dominance is high. It's your way or the highway when it comes to love. You like to be very involved in your sweetie's life. No question, you like to be the one calling the shots. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.