lazures Aeonity Blog

the fullness of Absinthe.

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 22:20:26 -0500

I remember asparagus because of the food. Beige because of my mother and her insecurities when it comes to bold, brash colours. Black because it's not a colour and yet they say it is. Blue because it's his favourite and blue green are her eyes. Bright green because it's life - only lighter, more carefree. Brown wet mud. Cerulean I don't even... Read More

haute montagne.

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 22:53:20 -0500

I feel as if I have accomplished some monumental assessment of my own self-worth. He finally asked me out on a date. And I knew he would. It would have actually been quite sweet if I weren't so cavalier. I'm not so good at being capricious. Forgive me.... Read More

do you remember when I told you this?

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 22:44:00 -0500

To be blunt, I like people being in love with me. I feel as though it gives me some kind of worth. If they find something to love about me, surely I can find another commodity to love about myself. I know I should do it the opposite way; loving me, proudly knowing others will follow. Letting them fall of their own accord just sounds so ... Read More

1, 2, 3, 4

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 22:37:10 -0500

Lately the things I've craved have been served to me by the Universe, on silver platters and in porcelain bowls. And the numbers keep running up. This compulsion has to stop. ... Read More

pauper.

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 22:27:03 -0500

We can't call it love. I have a different outlook on what it is. Mine is blind . I'm not sure I'll ever be able to understand. There's just this terror that grips my heart when I'm forced to be with you. Perhaps you truly regret and would take it all back, if you could. But something isn't working, not connecting. I could never want this lov... Read More

where have you been.

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 22:22:24 -0400

I wanted to grab you by the waist, brush the hair from your face, and pull your fragile body close to me until you loved me again. I miss you. There's this excitement that makes it hard to swallow when I think of you, and how incredibly beautiful of a person you are. I know we've fallen apart, but you were my bestfriend. The reason I woke ... Read More

I have found you.

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 22:18:33 -0400

This is the smell of a time long passed. And there are pieces of you left beneath my ribs. The debris clinging to my insides, but they weren't so heavy this time. Every inch of my personal space that you invaded craved more. And I remembered, and I cried, and I tried to forget, and I cried even more. Your signals are mixed, but so are my f... Read More

pay attention, now.

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:43:56 -0500

This is how it begins. A single moment in which something catches my eye: a scrap of paper whisked out of a train door as people enter, a sparrow perched on a fire escape, a frowning toddler in a stroller in the sun. Then, everything starts to blur. My eyes brush the outskirts of their vision over, and I am focused on a plank of wood or a lamp p... Read More

into the ugliest parts.

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:38:08 -0500

I love out of spite. It is quiet and violent and suffocating. It is my possessive nature that keeps me being sweet to you, so that you won't know where else to go to be taken care of. And when I think that I have you properly attached, I am terrible and angry and irritated with you all of the time. I think, "I can treat you this way because y... Read More

letting go.

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:19:22 -0500

"What's the point of talking, when I don't have any answers?" Maybe I'm scared, because I have no one left, and if I let you mean something to me, it would hurt so MONUMENTALLY hard if you hurt me. If you let me go. And I'm just waiting for the part in this movie where I die, but I fear that I will have to suffer through so much more uncertai... Read More