----[x]Why doesn\'t it feel right?[x]

Jul 15th, 2005 9:16:41 pm - Subscribe
Mood: abnormal
----[x] currently listening to [x]: Avenged Sevenfold - I won\'t see you tonight, Pt 1

Dear Die-ary,

Last night I was up late on the computer talking to my friend Blake about some issues I've been dealing with. The main one is that my boyfriend Jon and I think I might be pregnant. It's been driving me crazy and I really think I might be.

Anyways, in order to be on the internet at 2:00 am I had to do it without my mom waking up. I was sitting there talking to Blake and I hear her moving around in her room. Immediately I jumped to close everything down and get back in bed before she realized what I was doing.

The next morning my mom was compelled to run a virus scan while she was working out and walking the dog. So she turns the computer screen on and finds that it had frozen last night before everything had shut down.

How lucky am I? The conversation sat there just BEGGING her to read it..

So today my Mom, Dad, Step Mom, my mom's boyfriend Joe and I all sit in my living room and talked for about two hours... I'm sure you can guess what we were talking about.


My mom had stopped by CVS on her way home from work to pick up a box of two pregnancy tests for me. We went upstairs and I took the first one.. While we were waiting she told me how much she just wanted to strangle me for being so dumb, but then again she just wanted to hug me because she know's what it's like to feel the way I was feeling at the time.

The pregnancy test turned out negative. [sigh of relief] But to be sure.. if my period doesn't come in the next week I'm taking the other one to see if it turns out positive after more time. But the strange thing is, the whole time we were talking about things and making thigns very uncomfortable, everyone was very calm. They didn't explode like I thought they would have done...

Now the main thing that depresses me is the fact that I can't see Jon anymore untill my mom and dad decide. But the good thing it that Jon got me an art easle and supplies so that I can exercise my artistic cravings while I'm stuck here missing him like crazy and wishing that you didn't go straight to hell for commiting suicide.

I'm sure I'll update either tomorrow or Saturday. Untill then... mind praying for me?

-hp

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[x] "We don't listen to eachother 'cause we're all too busy talking. Well tell lies about eachother 'cause the truth is such a bore. With a thread of dawn approaching and our interest quickly fading.. we will stumble home together as we did the night before." [x]





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Comments:

mizzxbitch - July 15th, 2005 wow! that's pretty out there. but im glad that your parents didn't yell at you they just talked it out. that's good to know. well hope you get to see your bf sooner or later.

emogirlie - July 15th, 2005 Man, that must of been scary. I would have been totally freaking out if I thought I was pregnant. Well, hold on, and I hope you get to see your Boyfriend soon too.

livedehs - July 16th, 2005 Thanks you guy's. I'm glad to know that there's still people out there who have some kind of uplifting words. -hp

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