| I don't really feel like writing at this moment I really feel like ranting to the heavens, to the neighbors, to anyone and everyone who will listen. I wanna just tear out my hair and scream and be a crazy person. I mean really!!! I have no internet yet I try to get on as often as I can. Writing soothes and calms me, it helps me keep my head on straight which is great with the everything else that's going on. However I can't even do that. I have... I mean had... a journal at my house to write in and after the 4th person to pretty much destroy/read it I quit! Fuck it i'll write in it when I can and damn any poor souls who are around between now and then. Should I put a dead bolt on my bedroom door in my own house just so I can keep something...anything...private. Ridiculous. Should I just start tryin to be a raging psycho so maybe there scared of me and leave my shit alone? I am supposed to get marries in a year and I'm not sure if i even want to. Who wants one or all 3 of there brother -in-laws living on there couch sucking them dry like a leech. I love Kenny truly with all my heart but it has been almost 5 years now and nothing has changed in that department we just keep trading them out. I am so almost over this. Yes I know I seem to always be bitching on here but I have no one to talk to and obviously no journal left so FFUCK IT!!! Worl be prepared. Hopefully next time I get on I can write and entry full of sunshine and light but realistically.... probably not. |