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lost_souls
I'm trying. - Subscribe
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I'm trying desperately to figure everything out. I'm trying desperately to understand what it is that I'm feeling. I'm trying desperately to keep the peace. I'm trying desperately to make everybody happy. I'm trying desperately to be happy. I'm trying desperately to hold myself together - - And I think I'm running out of glue. |
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lost_souls
Amazing. May 9th, 2006 9:43:41 am - Subscribe
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It's amazing how far I can go on what little amount of energy I seem to have these days. It's amazing how spectacularly I can crash and burn when it finally does happen. Sidenote: Go here and watch the 30 Seconds To Mars new video for The Kill. Even if you don't like their music, you might like the video. You're going to have to click on it on the right side column because it's not the first video to be played. It's pretty freaking fantastic if you ask me. So check it out. |
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lost_souls
How could you? May 19th, 2006 5:19:01 pm - Subscribe
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After everything she did to you how could you take her back? How could you? She broke up with you to date someone else and when that didn't work out she thinks she can just have you back?!?!?! Why would you put up with that shit? She doesn't deserve you and I wish you were smart enough to realize that. It hurts to see you following her around like a lost puppy, waiting for attention while she ignores you, talking to her friend. Don't you realize that she's just using you? It's prom weekend. I was going to go to the park to see everyone, but then I remembered that you'd be there with her. I'm not sure I could deal with that right now. On a different note, I would really like to make music a bigger part of my life but I can't seem to make the right choices to actually make that happen. And it's frustrating. I don't like this person that I am. I don't like this person that all, or most of my friends think I am, and I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. |
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1 Comments
Mood: disappointed, hurt, you name it I am it Sounds Heard: The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars |
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lost_souls
Imagine. May 24th, 2006 8:31:46 pm - Subscribe
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It must be the greatest feeling in the world. Standing on a stage, staring into a field of faces. Knowing that they're there for you. Hundreds or thousands of people, screaming, giving themselves to you just for one night. Arms waving to your music, sending energy through the air waves. Singing along, your words to your music, the very thing you put your desire, your soul, and every fiber of your being into to create. Your greatest passion being their one and only reason to be there with you. There is nothing but you, these people, and this moment. Imagine the adrenaline. Imagine the absolute energy. Imagine the pure joy. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ^^ That's the only part I came here meaning to write...It's amazing what comes out once you've started. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - What the fuck am I doing with my life? Uh, don't answer that. I think I know the answer. Absolutely nothing. I go through my days like I'm on autopilot. Come to think of it, I probably am. I do the same things over and over again day after day. And then I get mad at myself for not doing the things I want to do. Is that hypocritical or what? Well hypocritical probably isn't the right word... I just can't figure out how to make the changes. Or maybe I just can't bring myself to make the changes. You get comfortable with the way things are after they've been like that for...well longer than a year. So how do I take that first step? Am I making any sense? Sometimes I'm not sure. Thanks to deathcabforu, I've realized that I need to focus on me. Not him. Me. I'm not sure if I'll get over him or not, but I will be concentrating on what I want. What I want to do with my life maybe. Am I repeating myself? This is turning out to be much longer than I thought it was going to. If anyone would like to read a really good book, check out The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. It's Historical Fiction, and I'm not normally one to read historical anything, including my textbook, but like I said it's really good. Edgefest. June 26, 2006. LaSalle Park, Buffalo, NY. Here I Come. |