I'm suffocating. Slowly.
Date: Feb 21st, 2007 10:39:20 am - Subscribe
Mood: worthless
Sounds Heard: Sealegs - The Shins

The walls are closing in.
I need to get out.
I. Need. To. Run.

There's nothing more to it than that.

Somebody told me last night that it's a choice. If I want to, I can run.
But do I want to risk the pain? I've made 60% progress. And if I undo that, I will break.

Watching me in physical therapy, my mother later told me that I am extremely strong.
I don't cry when grown men and women have in the past.
That meant a lot to me.
But it told me something about myself I don't like.
I can take physical pain. Any amount. And I can do it without crying.
It makes me happy. I shows me I can still feel something, that I'm not completely numb.
Because I'm beginning to lose touch.
My coping methods have turned to writing an absurd story that is probably more damaging that beneficial.
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