lost_souls's Blog

Some things are.
Date: Dec 30th, 2006 9:07:55 pm - Subscribe
Mood: helpless
Sounds Heard: A Modern Myth - 30 Seconds to Mars

You would think that you would have learned by now.
Please, do not ask me what I want.
Because you can't give it to me.

Sure, there are always those material things that make me temporarily happy, just like everyone else.
But what I really truly want, I can't have. It's impossible.

And don't give me that shit that nothing is impossible. Because whatever way you look at it, some things just are. And you can't change that, even if you really wanted to.

And no, I don't want to talk about it.





Why does this song make me cry so often?
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Yeah...
Date: Dec 29th, 2006 12:57:39 pm - Subscribe
Mood: powerless


Still not 100%sure about Taste of Chaos. Liz just needs to decide to go, but apparently she doesn't want to go with just me, so she's going to ask Sue or Sarah. Which is good with me because I love both of them, but I hope Liz will still go if they can't. I am going to be pissed and majorly disappointed if she doesn't want to go, because there's no way I'm going by myself.


Anyway, there was something else I was going to type, but I have completely forgotten. Now it's time to tour the Darwin Martin House.
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Taste of Chaos
Date: Dec 27th, 2006 9:36:38 pm - Subscribe
Mood: sparkly


So it looks like Taste of Chaos in Toronto will almost definitely positively happen. As long as Liz decides to go, cuz I'm not going by myself. Want to come along?? Just let me know. Tickets are $40 when you add the service charge and everything.
This has totally made my day.
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Eh, three hundred miles.
Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 9:01:32 pm - Subscribe
Mood: helpless
Sounds Heard: Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk - Rufus Wainwright

Where to begin? It's been too long.
I don't even know anymore.


I can't stand that you're three hundered miles away from me and we only talk online. I miss you, and you don't even know it.



Things keep escalating between mom and sister. They have their days where everything is okay, but they seem to be few and far between. It's...stressful to say the least. I don't even want to be in the house or the car with them when they're fighting or not speaking to each other. All I want to do is run to get rid of my frustration and forget about it, but I can't because of my hip. I'm beginning to go crazy. My music and writing is keeping me from going over the edge. Why can't they just listen to each other? I don't know. But I can't keep doing this, trying to keep the peace. It's a waste of energy.

I'm trying to stop caring. It hurts more to care than it does to ignore.






I'm doing a scrapbook project with some other 30 Seconds to Mars fans from around the world. It's actually pretty cool. The girl putting it together lives in Sweden, and once everybody sends everything in, she's going to send it to someone in the U.S. to give to the band at an upcoming concert. I've already written something, and I'm the process of drawing something, but I'm not sure how well it's going to turn out. I can't make it look like what my mind is seeing. But it's fun. I'm just trying to give something back to the band that has given me my survival in so many different ways. Maybe I'll post what I've written once I'm finished.

If Liz has her license by March 30th, we're hoping to drive up to Toronto/Mississauga for the Taste of Chaos Tour since they're not coming to Buffalo. Hopefully we can figure it out soon in case the show sells out. It will be amazing if we make it there. I've been needing to see 30 Seconds to Mars, or any concert actually since June (Edgefest). 30 Seconds to Mars being there is just an amazingly awesome bonus.








It's been over two months since Dan died. And I'm still thinking about it. On the two month anniversary, December 18th, I actually thought I saw him.
Why am I still thinking about him?

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Judgement.
Date: Dec 4th, 2006 6:52:54 pm - Subscribe
Mood: hopeless
Sounds Heard: Sisters of Heresy - 30 Seconds to Mars

I am going to stop passing judgement on you and your actions. Or anybody's.

It's not my place, it's not fair, and it's not who I want to be.

My sincerest apologies.





-----

I need inspiration...
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Hypocrite.
Date: Nov 26th, 2006 9:47:51 pm - Subscribe
Mood: stressed
Sounds Heard: Synchronicity - The Police

I am a hypocrite.

I hate that.

I think it's time to change.
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Well...
Date: Nov 21st, 2006 10:05:34 pm - Subscribe
Mood: different
Sounds Heard: Zombie - The Cranberries

Life is life.

If something doesn't happen soon, I think I will be driven insane.

Not looking forward to Thanksgiving.


There's a new 30 Seconds to Mars music video out for their new single From Yesterday. It's 13 minutes long, like a mini movie. I love it. You should definitely check it out here and see for yourself. Jared Leto directed it and everything. Amazing if you ask me. But that could just be because I love the band...who knows.

- - -
I don't watch the news anymore.
There's too much wrong with the world
& it bothers me to know
I can't change it.
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Fond.
Date: Nov 14th, 2006 6:01:31 pm - Subscribe
Mood: pissed
Sounds Heard: Message in a Bottle - The Police

Have I told you how fond I am of the screaming matches at 7:00 in the morning?


Oh yes, it's the best way to start a day.
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Everyone
Date: Nov 12th, 2006 6:00:35 pm - Subscribe
Mood: worried
Sounds Heard: Message in a Bottle - 30 Seconds to Mars cover

Is everyone in this fucking town a stoner?

I think so.
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It IS possible.
Date: Nov 11th, 2006 11:06:45 am - Subscribe
Mood: serious
Sounds Heard: Message in a Bottle - The Police

It is possible to break a stereotype.
It's possible to be good at more than one thing.
It's possible to succeed at more than one thing.
It's possible.
So stop your fucking uninformed judgement.





---
"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly."
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