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lovepain the life as a emo - Subscribe
im completly afraid of light. i cant stand that other people can see me! people take one look at you and automaticly judge who you are and i hate that.

i see all these happy people with smiles on there face and i think what have they got to be happy about!!!!???? well first there not me!!

each day i strugle to get up. but im proud of my self that i didnt overdose on pain killers the night before. i wake up proud of my self that i hadnt killed my self the night before.

im so parinod that ive scared away my friends. i have absoluty no-one! my mum is not someone i can talk openly with. my siblinings are eaither to young to understand or just dont really care. ive got no one!!
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Mood: parinod
music: the used

lovepain life of a emo Apr 7th, 2005 12:00:46 am - Subscribe
every day i think of all those happy people walk around and wonder why are they so happy and im not?? each day i cant leave my room im compelty afriad of the light. i cant stand that other people can see me!! it kills me inside that others can judge me!! im so parinod about other people i sit im my room and cry about how much they can hurt me! im sick of all this pain that is building up inside. why do people judge so harshly! like you dont even know me and your already picturing who i am. just stop playing with people mind and just realise that lfe is not some thing to be played with...
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Mood: parinod
music: the used

lovepain life Apr 7th, 2005 12:01:22 am - Subscribe
the pain of all of this is just so overbarring!! i cant stand it! i get so parinod that others can see me that i lock myself in my room all day and cry and shead blood from my wrist. i cant stand the fact that im so young and so full of hate and anger. people my age are ment to be out partying and having sex but im alone in my room with my bed covered in blood hoping the sun doesnt come up soon. i hate light. i hate it so much.

i strive to be a musican but do you know any musicans that hate light!!?? i cant stand other people that just dont get me!! well no one really does! mabye thats my problem. im scared that people are one thing to my face and are another behind my back.

i sit here and cry so much. i hope that one day i will find some one that can help me or even just care about that much that they dont care how parinod i am! sad.gif
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Mood: empty
music: my chemical romance

lovepain school Apr 27th, 2005 12:34:59 am - Subscribe
im here at school and i wished this morning that nothing would happen. so far its all good but every corner i turn i shiver because i scared about hows on the other side. so much fights and comments and teasing has gone on at school towards me from peope i used to call my friends, that was along time ago!!!

But as i walked down the coridoor after class, there they were. right behing me yelling perfanities at me and about the way i dress, what i like, the way i live!!!! i cant stand there shit any more! i walk pass them when their by themselves and they act normal, just like their not my mortal enemy!! i hate this school!
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Mood: horrible
music: the beating of my heart

lovepain why Apr 27th, 2005 7:00:28 am - Subscribe
i sit here in this hollow and empty thing that i might of onece called a body! every time i look in the mirror i just want to end this shallow, usless ting they cal life!! i look up and all i see is the life that i could have been in if his ghostly pale hands hadnt touched me!
every morning i wake up and see those devilish eyes that ended mt sanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
these tears that run down my face are symbols the burning pain that invades my black and broken heart, mixed with a rushing river of sorrow that i feel each and everyday!
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Mood: forgotten