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loverearth
Blog 136 Step 13 Intro 2 - Subscribe
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The picture card for this step shows a hermit on top of a snowy mountain ridge. If I really follow my inner desires, the truly deep ones, this situation is apt. It can be a lonely trip following my dreams and can lead to some strange places. I dream of love; I have a dream of love--more exactly a dream of the Lover. It seems impossible to put in words who she is. In one respect she is the same as myself and in another way she is different. She seems like an aspect of myself as much as I seem like an aspect of her. The love relationship we share is much like the more popular sort of relationship except that it's undefinable by ordinary terms. For most of my life I tried to be in love with God but God has turned out to be a very poor lover and I was continually frustrated by his patriarchal qualities. It is said that God is love but this is a mockery of the true facts. If anything, God is war. I don't need war. I need a lover who fulfills the meaning that I understand by the word love. I've never met anybody who comes close to what I need when I talk of love. If sainthood is associated with lovehood, I consider myself an "Ain't" saint rather than a "Quaint" saint. I see myself in the hermit figure although I think he is going the opposite way from finding love. I believe love is more truly found in a warm garden than on a cold mountain. In our patriarchal culture, we joke about going up a mountain to seek a guru to tell us about the meaning of life. Why isn't the cultural image of that quest a womam in a garden. In this game, card nine portrays exactly that. I do physically live in a garden and it helps but I suffer from the phony boxlike conditions at the end of concrete and asphalt pavements, known as houses, apartments and offices. The mood is "random" which is the opposite of set in concrete. Love maximizes freedom which sometimes appears to be random and even chaotic and meaningless. However my belief which is daily justified by love experiences indicates that love is a strong and flexible structure like the safe and loving arms of a mother or a lover. We understand things by contrast and so the hermit cards helps us by providing a contrast to a garden scene. The Via Negativa and the Via Positiva go together. Love is not all roses much as we would like it to be when we are pricked by thorns. The hermit is probably looking for love in all the wrong places but this may just be a setup for his discovering the garden valley is best of all. Life is full of irony and paradox. We walk a fine line between hermit and socialite. Love is on both ends of the spectrum and in fact is the whole spectrum. When we play with the Lover we ride all the wave lengths at once, the surfing metaphor multiplied by infinity. No wonder it feels like we're on a rollercoaster when we take up the practice of love. Literature is filled with the trials of lovers; it seems like a prerequisite and par for the course. On this planet a saint goes where angels fear to tread. The real saints are nowhere near the headlines. In all probability they defy cultural norms. If Jesus came today and said he was the Messiah, he would no doubt be asked when he was going to come. The Lover is right here as us and yet we insist on trekking up a mountain or sitting for hours in meditation, hoping to find love by methods than never work. |
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loverearth
Blog 137 Step 13 Part 1 Story Aug 4th, 2009 12:41:50 pm - Subscribe
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Step 13 includes the Consciousness Card "Saint" with the polarities of "Quaint" and "Ain't", and the tarot card "The Hermit." The first part is the story of Joy who is taking us step by step through the House of Consciousness. The following is taken from the book Lover Earth Government. The words of Joy are in quotation marks. ------------------ I was being pulled up by my bootstraps and I was the bootstrap being stretched. This was some time machine, back to the future in the present, an accelerated virtual hyperspeeeed growth trip, growing pains and all. At age 67, I was at sixes and sevens playing catch up. I wondered what I'd be when I grew up. "If you're in lovertime, you're in the center of the wheel that's spinning one way but appears to be going backwards until it stops altogether. Love bends time into a circle, a womam's spiral conch which confounds patrilinear logic. "Saint Man is on a straight course, hell bent for patriarch heaven. In his desire to escape, he goes off the deep end and ends up in a womam's earth circle anyway. There's no such thing as a straight line in Mother Nature. Straight lines and perfect circles are in the mind of man. Straight men go around in circles unknowingly." My perfection game was a dead end. I was a monk like the Hermit, trying to be perfect like father in heaven. I was a perfect fool on my Quaint Saint quest so I guess it had value in teaching me what not to do. Now I'm an Ain't Saint, using Mother Nature with her messy periods and crooked commas as my supermodel, no model B off an assembly line but a model A lover, custom made for me. Among my Saintly virtues are depression, fear, cowardice, ignorance, lying, lust, resentment, spitefulness, laziness, selfishness and a thousand and one other seven deadly sins. If I could see my past lives, I'd see murder and mayhem too. I'm a cousin to Attila the Hun and Charles Manson. In the right circumstances my vices would slay my virtues. Fortunately, I'm too fearful to be really evil. I was raised to be a good boy who turned into Mr. Nice Guy. I write because it relieves my anxiety and makes me feel good. I'd like to be a millionaire but I don't sell well. I dream of being a famous speaker with Deep Pockets but the only one interested in what I say is myself. "A Quaint Saint you ain't, " teased Joy. "And you're not an Ain't Saint yet but you're getting there. You get a C for showing up. Take IX love notes from the Hermit. That gives you 57. Be happy. Love is the only currency that counts." ----------------- The mood is "sticky." A quaint saint is a bit tacky but an ain't saint is sure to get you unstuck. |
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loverearth
Blog 138 Step 13 Part 2 Poem Aug 4th, 2009 4:39:13 pm - Subscribe
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The language of love is poetical, a stream of consciousness more like a dream than an awake in the day run of thoughts. Each card speaks to the heart in this manner. The following is a poem from step 13 of Lover Earth Government. ------------------ The greatest Saint I ever knew turned out to be nothing more than you. I thought at first it was too good to be true but the idea took root and seedlike grew. There's nowhere to go and nothing to do; no goals to meet, no roles to pursue; nothing at all, Love, but you who I woo. A Saint Ain't what she used to be wrapped in a halo of mystery. Moses and Muhammed have lost their glow; Jesus and Buddha move too slow. Gurus and meditators of the new age, the heroes of sports and the stars of the stage, and holy relics that once were the rage lie in my heart like burned out sage. God in his laid on glory and goddesses of made up story seem like pictures of plaster and paint, drawn by the minds of artists too Quaint. Still the ideal of a Saint won't go away; steals my heart like a beautiful day. It's something in the air beyond what I say; draws me to you, to the garden where you play. For your Love, I'll be that kind of Saint; give up everything that your sainthood Ain't. A Saint is a pointer to where you're not at; a faint still rejoinder that this isn't that. Your quiet voice is my inner conscience; I'll shut down the loud noisy annoyance; make my choice of an artful science and share with you a heartfelt alliance. I know in my heart what makes a Saint great; it's you and I, Love, when we're in checkmate. It's great to be big and it's great to be small; when I give it away I receive it all. Straight and narrow is the way to your heart. Saintly arrow, let me play in your art. The six of time is the rhythm of rhyme. You're a passionate card in a timely suit; I've come to court and bring you to it. My proposal is marriage in the highest degree; the rose and the carriage of the whitest lily. Sun of heaven and fire of earth, soul without leaven and body of worth, bring us children of joy in a world of mirth. Six of time, sweeten mine rhyme, time after time. --------------- The mood is "brave." An Ain't Saint is brave and bold when she goes for the gold. |
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loverearth
Blog 139 Step 13 Part 3 Prose Aug 5th, 2009 12:52:10 pm - Subscribe
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From Lover Earth Government: --------------- As a child I wanted to save my soul and be a Saint. I didn't know the difference between Ain't and Quaint. Now I'm an Ain't Saint, everything a Quaint Saint Ain't. The fathers conned us with their Saint stories and Quaint sermons. The ancient Saint was king of the mountain, and the modern version is king of the money bill. I've been to that mountain and have seen the other side of the hill. It's a promisory land all right, but no garden of milk and honey; it's a dead sea land. The Hermit card shows what's on top of that money mountain: nothing but cold ice and snow. What a scam. All that preaching by the state-church fathers leads to the tip of cold hearted iceberg. I've learned to take my star lantern and staff back to the valley where I belong, the valley of womem and children, milk and honey. There's nothing in those god realms, literally no-thing. It's completely empty. The mountain trip is another patriarchy lie pie in the sky. The fathers search there for the womb of the Lover, the pure potential of no-thingness but she's totally here. The Lover is everywhere but she prefers to live in gardens. Guess who gets to live in the temples, churches and godhouses? Not the poor workers who build them. And it Ain't a womam who created God, the godfather of them all. An Ain't Saint doesn't believe in godfathers; a Quaint Saint does. It's taken me 66 years to see the 666 lies of the godfathers, and their triple headed beast of money-sex-power. The new age godfodders are charlatans like old age peter pensers. God is so entangled with moneyism that he got his name put on the dollar bill. In God we trust equates to: in money we trust. Saint Money changer pays the churchstate shill's bills. A Quaint Saint lives on the payroll of the money changers Jesus chased out of the temple. Jesus was a womam in a man's body; that's why the fathers killed him. His is a story made up by the fathers which turns and bites them. Jesus is She'sus. Fathers can canonize a Quaint Saint but they can't anathematize an Ain't Saint. I'm an Ain't Saint following the Via Negativa, a straight and narrow Vita Positiva. My celibate hermit penis is useless in the ice and snow so I go to the womam's valley below. I receive IX Love credits for a grand total of 57 Love notes. Wow! ------------ The mood is hysterical, not the patriarchal misinterpretation but the meaning that comes from the original word for uterus. |
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loverearth
Blog 140 Step 13 Part 4 Verse Aug 5th, 2009 1:05:04 pm - Subscribe
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We ourselves are the Saint who guides us home. The following from Lover Earth Government is about us as Lover: ------------- Noble guide for my sojourn here Faithful guardian, I feel you near As a loving parent you can see The things that are best for me You know the plan that's been prepared The one in which we have shared You'll be with me down the road Til the story of my life's been told You brought me through the major changes Saw me past the minor ranges Now I'm poised for another shift Keep my heading true, not adrift Although mostly hidden from my view I feel your touch in what is new In all the ways in which I grew You helped me handle all my tasks Relaxed the tension of my masks I know I have a long way to go There's one thing I've come to know Keep taking clues from up above And walk with you in living love ----------------- The mood is "disconnected." To the extent we're disconnected from patriarchy, we're connected to loverarchy. |