lovexhate's Aeonity Blog - Better playlist

Waking up	Jul 26th, 2008 12:15:19 pm - Subscribe
Yesterday opened my eyes and I finally woke up. I'd woken up from a monotone world of dreary colours and boring sounds; full of heartache and sorrow, to a world of summer sun and warmth, nurturing and being. Living; life. Summer has begun, in weather terms (in this country.) I was actually talking and having a laugh with my mum; I bought 6 shirts and a hat in the Next sale & whizzed around and did the food shopping. We also rented a dvd which we'll probably watch tonight (since last night we watched The Shining) and I started Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere (: I think inspiration isn't that far away, if I could only just get over some problems without falling into a negative thinking state; maybe this could finally work out. I just hope. I miss Richard like hell and I just wish I knew a way of sorting things out between us once and for all, for the better. I can't ever let him go, I love him so much. I just hope it works out in the end. I just hope. Anyway, I am going to enjoy the weather and sit outside and read and such. I've managed 3 out of my 6 daily walks this week. :/ But hopefully that can change. I just do hope. Lover, hey "fuck you" I can see everything here with my third eye Like the blue in the sky If God is a DJ Life is a dance floor Love is the rhythm You are the music If God is a DJ Life is a dance floor You get what you're given It's all how you use it I've been the girl-middle finger in the air Unaffected by rumors, the truth: I don't care So open your mouth and stick out your tongue You might as well let go, you can't take back what you've done So find a new lifestyle A new reason to smile Look for Nirvana Under the strobe lights Sequins and sex dreams You whisper to me There's no reason to cry If God is a DJ Life is a dance floor Love is the rhythm You are the music If God is a DJ Life is a dance floor You get what you're given It's all how you use it You take what you get and you get what you give I say don't run from yourself, man, that's no way to live I've got a record in my bag you should give it a spin Lift your hands in the air so that life can begin If God is a DJ Life is a dance floor Love is the rhythm You are the music If God is a DJ Life is a dance floor You get what you're given It's all how you use it
mood: Good Le ou La?: God is a DJ - Pink	(0) comments

Paris air we breathed in, and life in 'Quick' we tasted; but now we are back home	Jul 22nd, 2008 11:29:59 am - Subscribe
One week. One week of sun and sights and walking. One week of getting closer to my parents and unraveling misunderstood truths. Lets face it though; anywhere is better than here. The hill of Monmartre presenting Le Sacre Coeur, the Opéra near the Lafayettes; the Seine - a la gauche et a la droite. There's no forgetting some of the art there, the museums and Metro's, RER's and TGV's. And of course a ride up the Tour Eiffel and all the views. Walking up and back down the Champs-Élysées and seeing the Arc de Triomphe; going shopping and buying the latest fashions. Watching Bastille Day celebrations and fireworks at the Seine next to the Eiffel Tower. Pastries to try at Patisserie's and smelling freshly made French bread; especially around the stations (gares) when hunger was pounding on the go. Even Pigalle wasn't too bad, other than the night that ended around 2:30 am coming back from the Moulin Rouge after stopping in 'Quick' because my mum was obsecenely drunk off the champagne. We got asked by 3 men if we wanted sex. 0__o A threesome perhaps? OLOLZ, just the wrong place at the wrong time.. But seriously, 'un, deux, trois... un joli?' He was eyeing us up as well, pssh. xP And then the drunk guy coming up to us and me clinging onto my dad. That was a risky night; holding onto my mother's arm and yanking her away from the streets and from almost walking into poles. Notre Dame and eating crêpes filled with Nutella, The Pompidou Centre and such. So much can be seen; we even planned Disney for a day or maybe two, but it didn't work out. One day I found a café on the rooftop of Printemps de la Mode. Took the escalator up several floors to the roof of the store, ordered a sandwich and cappucino and sat at a table facing out onto the city; a panorama including the Opéra on the left, to the Tour Eiffel on my right. Paris is busy on weekdays. The streets may be full of people, the roads filled with cars and motorbikes, but it never feels loud. Unfortunately, it is city like, with the dust and dirt. Since returning, I've got a weird cold and things are in an unsure place. I can't seem to bring myself to contact Richard; even though for at least 3 nights I cried and didn't sleep because I was thinking of him.. thinking of everything. Yesterday was sunny, I managed a 20 minute walk around the estate, but nothing as near as the miles I did in Paris. I want to get fit and have all the motivation and move forwards, but I'm so trapped and unsure; and it's a difficult tight space. :/ A line I thought of: your best kept secrets are your worst enemies; although you hold them close, they are unhealthy and bound to lead you to some form of destruction. I'm comin' 'round to open the blinds You can't hide here any longer My God you need to rinse those puffy eyes You can't last here any longer And yes they'll ask you where you've been And you'll have to tell them again and again And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day Well I promise you you'll see the sun again And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again Come on take my hand We're going for a walk, I know you can You can wear anything as long as it's not black Please don't mourn forever She's not coming back And yes they'll ask you where you've been And you'll have to tell them again and again And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day Well I promise you you'll see the sun again And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again And I promise you you'll see the sun again Do you remember telling me you found the sweetest thing of all You said one day this was worth dying for So be thankful you knew her at all But it's no more And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day Well I promise you you'll see the sun again And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again
mood: vulnerable Le ou La?: Dido - See The Sun	(0) comments

she's feeling worthless, used again but nothing's different	Jul 10th, 2008 1:56:31 pm - Subscribe
oh god. I can see this day crumbling before my eyes. I need a list. I need to push. I need to stop feeling this emptyness. I don't want to be numb anymore. I want the sun shining in it's wholesome gloryness for more than 5 seconds so that I can feel; so that there is some hope. Please don't let this feeling take over. I am doing my best to fight it, but I don't know if it's enough. ---------- I ate lunch, I feel a bit better. I am going to get on with stuff now. And by the way, I think I'm going to be alone forever; unless serendipity occurs, like Richard giving me another chance somehow, and not moving on... I don't want him to. I know it sounds selfish... sigh. she'd stay the night but knows he doesn't care home by three deafening quiet the porch light's off yes they forgot it she'd cry herself to sleep but she don't dare and she wants to be a model she wants to hear she's beautiful she's beautiful i want to save you i want to save you i need you save me too i want to save you dressed by dawn and out the door no light she memorized the floor so she could leave without being detected she works till three it's uniform she dreams that he'll come by the store she prays for days when boys mean she's protected and she wants someone to see her she needs to hear she's beautiful she's beautiful i want to save you i want to save you i need you save me too i want to save you and she won't sleep she won't sleep and she won't sleep at all i want to save you i want to save you i need you save me too i want to save you (let me save you) i want to save you (let me save you) i want to save you (let me save you) i want to save you
mood: healthy Le ou La?: Something Corporate - I Want To Save You / Kasabian - Reason Is Treason	(0) comments

Pictures from Paris	Jul 22nd, 2008 3:39:53 pm - Subscribe
I figured the last entry was too many words; so here are some of the pics that i've uploaded so far:
mood:	(0) comments