 |
emogirlie - April 01st, 2006
Okay, so I answered these questions becuase I felt like it and it was fun. So have fun reading.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Because it wouldn't work if we didn't.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Because touching paint is fun and who wants to actually waste their tim trying to find out how many stars there are? Not many people. We are a lazy species.
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Becuase it's kept moist. Glues sticks when it's dry.
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Becuase the people handling the needle don't want to be infected with a deadly disease of course.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Cause he's not real. And he's a more attractive cartoon when he's beardless.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Becuase revolvers leave bruises and bullets bouce. 
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
For fashion. So they don't die before they plan to so they can go through with their suicide mission.
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
A mean ass bitch. Maybe someone with a lisp who added an s to everything becuase he/she was a dumbass.
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
That's the way they make it, and would you really want dye on your skin? NO. That's a cool idea actually. Coloured bubbles. AWESOME. Invent it. NOW.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Yeah. If they're on sale forever, then the price never changes and so they're not on sale at all. Whatever.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
OMG!! I always do this. I think, NO> I KNOW because people are bored and want something to chew on and hope that something good will be in the fridge that they did not spot before. Oh God. This is the best one yet. HAHA.
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
There are openings where the lamp meets hte ceiling big enough for small, flat bugs. Yes, there are bugs in my light and I know this for a fact. EW.
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Becuase you don't watch your arms, you watch the falling object.
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
They're trying to make murder look more appealing.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
It takes more effort to give advice than amke up some lie about what you're thinking about. So it cost more sonny jim!!
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Round coxes would be a lot harder to make. We are lazy and stupid and eat like pigs.
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours?
They don't stress about things and lie peacefully when they are sleeping. They sleep a lot and don't wake up all the time if there is a noise...etc...
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Language. Just the way it is. I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU! Why do we say... turn on the light, when we should say open the light. Cause we open up some valve or something so the light goes on. I always say open for some reason. Okay, that's not a very good question. Whatever. I'll think of a better one. YES> I AM SO BORED...
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings & then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Becuase people want to see things from a different view.
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty
for Miss America?
Becuase guys are pigs and they want to look at firm breats. Yum.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
For frozen bread... so it defrosts. Duh.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Hmm. I went to check and I came to the conclusion that there shouldn't be lights becuase lights make heat and heat melts food. Not good for my frozen dairy treats... NO way. And we tend to not use the freezer as much as the fridge so it would be jsut wasting electricity. And the darkness makes it look more cold and fantastically cool...
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid
song about him?
Someone made money off it. So it's not THAT stupid. And it's well known, so it must be quite catchy.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Because he likes to use his energy on making coconut radios. And he wants everyone to drown.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the
bathroom is?
Because that's just plain rude. It's not the way of our society. It's not politicaly correct so to speak.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
Because it's funny. Cartoons don't have to make sense.
If the coyote has enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
He likes the thrill of the chase! And he wants that dumbass bird dead god damnit!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Haha. That's cute. Baby oil is named babies because it is made ofr babies... like me! Oh oh oh! So Soft...
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Ha. That's also a good one. MMM. Deliciously good. HAHA. I guess mice holes are kind of traps for people run by mice becuase kids always want to reach into them and find goodies and then the kids get bitten! HAHAHA.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
Yes they do. I found this out a while ago and was amazed beyond belief.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a teapot in the sky. Steamy.
|
