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January 2005, February 2005, March 2005, April 2005, May 2005, June 2005, July 2005, November 2005, December 2005, January 2006, February 2006, March 2006, April 2006, May 2006, June 2006, August 2006, December 2007, January 2008, February 2008, March 2008, April 2008

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marlene She\'s back. - Subscribe
It's been SO long since I've been here. I even deleted all my past blogs ...since I figured I spent too much of my life on the computer and a web log would add to it off course. cool.gif But ...I got an email from David (thank you grin.gif) and now I am back! For good ...again.
I don't have much to write about., so let's see ...

Hmm ...I spent Christmas break with my boyfriend, Zander. It was AMAZING. A whole two weeks. He got me a sweater and I got him "The Nightmare Before Christmas" DVD. I just got home yesterday, and wow I ever down about it. Talk about easily depressed. Zander lent me Final Fantasy X, since I still haven't played it, which should help the time to pass. I should be allowed to go to his house again at the end of this school semester. grin.gif ...A month away. sad.gif

Well, got to go for dinner, I will add more later! Good to be back, this always helped me to feel better about things!

Oh right, Happy New Years, everyone!!! cool.gif
Mood: Lonely
Current Tune: Spoon - Lines In The Suit

marlene I wanna publish zines and rage against machines. Jan 5th, 2005 1:24:41 pm - Subscribe
Yeah, I went back to school today the first time since Christmas break. It sucked. I was supposed to be back Monday, but ...I thought we had that and yesterday off. Oops. So anyways ...I missed some huge assignment that was due today for English, a large ISU write up. Figures the teacher only gave use two days to work on it ...the two days I was gone. But he said I could have it in tomorrow, so tonight I gotta work my arse off. I didn't miss much in math, cha-ching. The unit we started I already knew all about. I didn't go to my last class ...too much work and I couldn't bring myself to it, of course. But, I'll go tomorrow and work my ass off to catch up on all I missed there. The ending of semesters are always so lame, having to try so hard to keep up with all the MAJORLY large assignments that your mark depends fairly on to keep from the dreaded 50% or lower. School is so damned stressful, and it's hard to pull myself together to handle it after an amazing break. Argh!

Well ...I cease to keep an anti-social life. I've begun to stop wanting to talk with anyone or even being around them. Everyone just annoys me oh-so-much.

Oh, I may as well tell you all my "New Years Resolutions." For fun and what not.
I've never been a big fan of the whole trying to accomplish something just because it's a new year; New start. No matter if I had just passed 365 days of my life doesn't mean I get to start over, so to speak. New Years is just my favrote celebration because it's like, 'hey! I just finished another year of my life, and it was O.K.' Well ...anyway, I made a resolution with Zander because ...I dunno, he wanted to.
  • We are going to try and talk more and make more of an effort to have conversations. Also, see each other as much as humanly possible and always make each other our number one priority.

We pretty much already do all that now, but I guess it just makes it more offical, and it's nice to know we'll do that for each other and care enough to make a promise so dear. So far it's going very smoothly. grin.gif

Well, that is all!
Mood: Down
Current Tune: Bright Eyes - I Believe In Symmetry

marlene I just hide under my blankets. Jan 7th, 2005 1:24:16 pm - Subscribe
So's finally Friday, I've been waiting for this ever since starting going back to school. I'm getting myself back on track with homework, so now that I'm more organized, I can get these major assignments finished. Wow, that feels good.

In my english class, we are making our own miniature magazines, and I'm doing mine on indie music ...and the main article is about Conor Oberst and I'm going to use him for the cover picture! grin.gif Finally, I get to do something I'm interested in. He just makes so much sense, and it's so fun reading about him.
It shouldn't matter what parts have to do with me and which don't. People are dying for it to be true, but it's not my personal story.

Wether people praise or criticize me, it's only going to make me more self conscious.

On other news ...I got the worst blister yesterday from shovelling the damned drive-way. It snowed SO much and I got stuck with clearing it. I hate it ...I ripped the blister open for some reason and it just feels gross and looks gross. Hopefully it'll heal soon.

Wooh! Exams are coming up! After I finish them, I get to go see Zander again. *Happy, happy* And I MIGHT get to go to Florida with him! I'm not getting my hopes up though, or trying not to at least. Even if I can't go, his family is for sure. And if I do, I might have to sleep on the floor ...since the reason I might not be able to go is because the place they are staying at may be too small. cry.gif *tear* Ah well, we'll have to see. I'm just going to cross my fingers. ^.^

So ...things are going well, finally getting over the constant depression of being away from my lover and relaxing. But ...when I do go to see him, I'm going to have to go through the extreme loneliness after, I'm confused as to wether or not it's worth it. Meh, 'love has no limits.'
Mood: Zen
Current Tune: Neva Dinova - Dances Fantastic

marlene How time can move both fast and slow amazes me. Jan 8th, 2005 12:10:36 pm - Subscribe
My playlist is getting so large, I don't even know what to listen to anymore.
You know you're depressed when you don't have a constant urge to listen to certain songs ...or when you don't even have a desire to listen to music at all.

Well ...Zander was supposed to come on at 10, but it's 1 o'clock now, and he still isn't. *Sad* I really want him on, since he asked me to download a song that's really hard to get the right version, and I got it! So I'm excited to give it to him. Wow, I get excited easily. But the more it's delayed, the more upset I get ...but whatever, being bored is always upsetting ...well, to me anyway.

I wanna grow up! You know? I really do like being young, but I'm just so ready for a change ...and it seems so far off. I know once everything changes, I will mourn to come back to this time and embrace my youthful years ...but ah well, I enjoy living for the moment than planning, since that just scares me. We'll see how the future goes ...I'm just tired of waiting!
I hope everyone's weekend is going well, even though it's only Friday.


Burn down the house. Make sure the family is inside. Nothing more to tether you, also no one there to catch you crying, nothing but my famous pillow and my father's rocking chair ...get a sliver when you sit there. Every mess I make, I make a run from nowhere ....nowhere follows you. -Harvey Danger.
Mood: Bored
Current Tune: Harvey Danger - Wrecking Ball

marlene You can\'t close your eyes anymore, and you can\'t dream Jan 9th, 2005 9:12:53 am - Subscribe
Yesterday night SUCKED! I had the most largest amount of loneliness I could ever imagine. I was talking to Zander, which was great ...but, he didn't seem at all interested in me, so I said "I think I'm gonna go" and he didn't even care. It was at like, 7:45 too! I mean, we could have been talking till 3 in the morning, it's the only night I can stay on however long I want without my mom going to bed early for work and having me get off for my typing keeping her up! So aside from loneliness, I also felt rejected. *sigh* Oh well, hopefully today will be better ...which I doubt, since Sundays always suck when I'm at home.

I went to bed around 8:30 last night ...sad, or what? On a Saturday. I must be the only girl in my school without even a morsel of a life. I guess maybe that's just the type of person I am. I would stay home over doing anything with anyone I know, unless Zander of course ...but he lives too far away. So ...I'm just asking for everyone to not ask me to do something. Kinda sad, really. Whatever.

Only good thing about yesterday was, I edited my template so it better represents myself! And with my horrid abilities with HTML or what not's something.


You're in the bathroom carving holiday designs into yourself hoping noone will find you, but they found you ....and they took you ...and you somehow survived. -Neutral Milk Hotel.
Mood: Idiotic
Current Tune: Neutral Milk Hotel - Three Peaches